Tag Archive | age

Day 67: Energetic HangOver

Reference below refers to the following Blogs:
Day 65: Living in Hope is a TRAP
Day 66: Radical Relationship: Dragging Faces of Anger

The past two days having accepted and allowed myself to exploit myself from one polarity to the next – seesawing from negative to positive energetic outflows, so much so that today, I experienced myself where within my physical body are degrees of feeling UP, then feeling Down – similar to how one experiences themself after to much alcohol or drugs where one experiences a ‘Hangover’- which is the result of how/what I accepted and allowed within and as energetic highs/reactions from participating in and as thoughts, feelings and emotions as well as reacting to a physical expression given in my direction from my partner – all of which I am completely responsible for. Thus, the following self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be and become physical chemical reactions as energy derived from participating in and as thoughts of hope and in/as stress within polarities of inferiority/superiority whereas the affects of/as existing as such manifest within my physical body as physical symptoms of feeling hung over/exhausted/abused/dying on the inside.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as energy to Not see/realize and understand that any reaction experience to/towards anything or anyone within existence indicates separation within a limited definition of myself Veiled in and as the mind as consciousness where I am the SUBJECT of my own Mind Control in/ as a superiority and inferiority game of my own design which subsequently is abusive to/as life itself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as energy to submit myself in/as emotions of/as superiority in my purSUIT to live thrills of/as a type of adrenaline junkie tripped out in experiences of power.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself in/as energy to Not fully grasp how damaging the act of existing in/as superiority to/towards others really is upon my physical body, nor have I comprehended the fact that I can never actually fill up the voidness feeling within myself through acts as such because self-interest and greed IS the cause of the desire to fill myself up in the first place due to a lack of intimacy within and as self within living a lie within and as a World of Inequality that I am responsible for accepting and allowing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself within and as energetic polarities to participate within the act of measuring myself as more than or less than in comparison to other living beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as energy to function on behalf of my beingness wherein the past couple of days I’ve teetered to and from negative and positive energetic lows and highs as inferiority/superiority while dragging my partner alongside riding the outflows of/as my reactions to/toward him, wherein my self-interest has known no bounds and more than likely manifested more injustice within our physical reality considering how I’ve raised havoc within and as my physical body in/as manifesting pain in my neck and shoulders feeling like I’m carrying the weight of the my own self-dishonesty upon my shoulders.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as energetic polarities of/as inferiority/superiority to function in and as my relationships based upon past, present and future projections of myself, thus, I forgive myself that I’ve Not accepted and allowed myself to realize that in order for my past to be present through and as future projections of myself, thus I see/realize and understand that I alone as a Mind Consciousness system have been stringing myself along, layering, storing and manifesting dimensions of myself as energy from and as thoughts, feelings, emotions, and memory participation and in/as energetic polarity experiences of myself – thus, I must walk the physical consequences of my own manipulation which accumulates as outflows of stress upon/within and as me as my physical body as well as my physical reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as energy as superiority to judge my partner according to my past, present and/or my future projections of myself within an idea of how I have previously experienced myself and/or how I hope to experience myself again, thus Not realizing that through and as my own self-imposed beliefs according to how I desire to obtain myself as within an experience, I will thus become irritated and blame my partner when my experience of myself doesn’t reach the all encompassing energetic charge as I had ‘Hoped’ and expected it to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exploit myself in/as energy for the sake of acheiving myself in and as a superiority/high for the sake of taking a winning position in and as my own self-interested agenda so I could feel better about myself for surviving another day within our current capitalistic money/world system, that I honestly don’t see as changing anytime soon, and within that, I forgive myself for how I use energy as an escape for Not facing, forgiving and directing myself as the directive principle in order to bring about an actual change within self thus the ability to be the support required in order to bring about a world according to what’s best for All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget the part of me who as a child asked my mom why was she so sad and when she replied, ‘that’s what happens when you get older’, and I saw for a moment in common sense as I walked away how that didn’t make sense and I wasn’t gping to live my life that way, Not realizing then that what I was witness to was the negative end of the polarity pole as energy in/as feelings as a human being as a Mind Consciousness system enslaved to a world/money system of which we are quite capable of stopping and redesigning according to what’s best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world/money system that enforces polarity games through Capitalism and Profit and offers No actual support for our physical body as life by way of guaranteed food/nourishment, housing, clean water, clothes, healthcare and education for everybody, so that life is able to be Expressed instead of stressed and depressed.

I commit myself to stop my mind as energetic polarities of superiority/inferiority, positive/negative, happy/sad, right/wrong, and good/bad, and to see/realize and understand that when I accept and allow myself to remain self-responsible for the actions of myself as breath in awareness according to what’s best for all – there will never be a reason for feelings of stress, shame and/or pain associated with profit and gain.

I commit myself to show myself through writing and self-forgiveness that energy and substance as who I am can be directed to contribute to this world and the lives of all of humanity for an equal and one life for all.

I commit myself to be an example in proving that the only way to fully bring polarized versions of ourselves to an end is to support an Equal Money System whereas All living beings are fully supported according to what’s best for All, thus, allowing the nature of who we really are to begin to step forth in Self-Honesty.

Please READ the following Blogs!
The History of Superiority and Inferiority: DAY 69

Day 20: Superiority and Inferiority game

“Unless the past pass over — you will pass over before the past is over” ~ Bernard Poolman
Day 56: The Past is Over

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Day 66: Radical Relationship: Dragging Faces of Anger

Today I reacted to my partner in anger because of his facial expression when he looked at me which I took as an expression of dislike and/or dissatisfaction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become anger.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand that today when I reacted in anger towards my partner, I was existing within inferiority and insecurity according to a belief about myself that I accepted and allowed when I was a child where when my father became irritated at me, I took his facial expression as a sign of not being loved and/or wanted, thus, I forgive myself that I haven’t seen/realized or understood that the anger I’ve existed as is a mind construct born infear within and as an ongoing pattern which I accepted and allowed to be triggered through my eyes upon seeing certain physical expressions of others associated with pictures in my mind from/as memories from my childhood.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as anger manipulate my partner according to past patterns of when we were first together whereas through words in how we argued I would keep going on and on until he would eventually apologize even if he didn’t really see how or why he was apologizing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as anger to justify using spiteful words and raising my voice because I know that in doing so it will cause my partner to ‘shut down’, which I see/realize and understand now is how me as my mind gets off within a point of superiority thus, me in/as anger, I teeter back and forth between polarities of inferiority and superiority justifying and manipulating my way to scoring a win.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in/as anger not realize that to be the abused and the abuser is so because one doesn’t exist without the other.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as anger to be/become possessed inspite of the energetic charge having affects upon myself and my partner causing stress upon our physical bodies, wherein I experienced feeling as if my face felt draggy and my body felt heavy like being dragged through quick sand, and within that I see/realize and understand how accumulating anger in/as self initializes stAGES of aging through and as the abuse we project/manifest onto others and ourselves as our physical body where humans are the AGE of looking like who/how and what we’re living deMANds of.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand that I was not really angry at my partner, that I was actually angry at myself because I was participating within feeling disappointed in myself – wherein I was judging my process as not being effective and as anger was me reflecting my own inner inferiorities towards myself using anger as an energy to try and hide from myself by through projecting superiority, in order to receive validation to make myself feel better inside myself and, when my inner hunger for self intimacy wasn’t satisfied, I lashed out again at my partner in verbal diarrhea.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself in/as anger to take advantage of my partner whose nature is to please, thus in/as anger I am enforcing and enabling him to remain within patterns he is forgiving and directing through self-corrective application thus, in/as anger, toward him, I am saboteur.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself reacting in/as anger infear to/towards my partner and/or anyone and/or anything for that matter, I Stop. I Breathe. I realize that the pattern of/as me as anger serves only as abuse, and in self-honesty, I see/realize and understand that that is unacceptable and I am no longer willing to exist as such.

I commit myself to releasing through self-forgiveness who I am as anger and through self-corrective application as I walk the path of self-honesty with/as my partner in agreement standing in support of a world according to what’s best of all.

I commit myself to show how through self-forgiveness and walking the Desteni I Process we are able to redefine relationships to one which will stand equally together in agreement, and as a group supporting that which supports all life according to what’s best for all.