Day 203: What Moves Me: Misgivings

Here I am investigating what moves me, where during my day I become aware of that which triggers an energetic reaction within and as me – to walk the point through with self-forgiveness and self-corrective/committment statements – to thus change the nature of who I am to one where I am able to breathe and direct myself to walk this life, living and making decisions – with No reactions, No movement within me – according to what’s best for all.

The Problem is: 

Ok so, we live about 12 miles from the nearest town and I’ve become very comfortable with the silence and solitude that living in the country brings.  However the past couple of years have brought an accumulation of neighbors as well as a nearby extremely Loud drilling rig. Thus, already I’m aware of how just the ‘thought’ of having neighbors again and a major corporation raping the land in our area, is in itself like pulling the trigger for irritation and ultimately self-doubt.

The fact is, I am no longer willing to react and exist as the energy surrounding such triggers, thus, I’m determined to walk the self-corrective application to let them go.

So today, when I saw that one of my neighbors brought 3 young beautful healthy horses and placed them in a pen on their land with very little hay and water, I saw how the sight of them triggered a memory I have of the owner.  Again I see how money is a factor and motivator in my decision of becoming who I am. The memory consists of a beLIEf where according to an image within my mind I mistake what I’ve ‘heard’ said about them to be a fact.  I remember my other neighbor saying that the people who one this particular land, that ‘they apparently have a little bit of money’.

That ‘thought’ holds no actual fact, but nevertheless it triggers more backchat and internal conversation;  ”What kind of people put horses on their land and then just leave them there alone with no shelter from the harsh weather”.  The energy in just one particular line of thought participation triggers another and is enough to cause anyone to go into a full blown mind possession.

From there I go further into imagining and projecting my fears, telling myself how there’s not enough room for them to move around, and, with no shelter from the weather, one can see why one would begin to question if the horses are being adequately cared for.   Then, it snows, and I watched as the horses huddle together as the temperature drops below freezing.

I began to see how this particular point within myself has various levels of self-doubt, self-apprehension, spite, ego and of course fear.

Within and as it, my expectations of ‘what is right’ and ‘what is wrong’ are all over the place and I project my own self-doubt onto my neighbors, even though I have no idea who they are, nor do I have any idea how to care for horses in cold weather.  Determined to stop myself as the movement of energies surrounding this point, I breathe and continue to investigate.

The Solution

Having stopped my participation in and as the back chat and internal conversations, I began to educate myself with regards to how to take care of Horses during cold weather.  Immediately all of the backchat, internal conversations and energy within this point stopped.  Because once I understood the details and proper care the delusion I was accepting and allowing didn’t have a leg to stand on, so to speak.

I was able to then direct and assist myself through applying self-forgiveness and self-corrective application – to stop the pattern of ego, spite, backchat and internal conversations, judgments and opinions, as well as the fear I existed as within it..

In Addition, this point has assisted me to further realize the importance of Equal Money Capitalism,  where All Living Beings will Always be Provided and cared for according to what’s Best for All.

Reward:

No more Misgivings. I was able to recognize that the horses in question ARE being properly cared for and that all of my conclusions were obsessions/delusions – me reaching to experience myself within and as the energy of/as it. When I became clear within myself I was able to see my neighbors clear and see that the horses are doing well.

I am beginning to understand and trust myself within the meaning of ‘give as you’d like to receive’, to we walk together as a Living Example of what it is to assist and support each other according to What’s best for All.

No matter what. Everybody is Provided for… Nobody freezes and/or starves to death. Everybody has that which they require to experience a Dignified Life.

6 Components of Cold Weather Horse Care

Cold Weather Horse Care Tips

A Must Read: Day 306: Encryption of the System of Self

Investigate Equal Money Capitalism…

Misgivings1

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within polarty cycles of fear of self-trapped by the fear of change and the fear of choice, all of which is just fear of self because self create all of reality – either directly or through what we accept and allow.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my entire beLIEf system to be motivated and moved energetically by Money, where I accept and allow value to be placed upon Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto a beLIEf according to an image within my mind that consists of gossip – where I heard someone say that so and so ‘apparently have a little bit of money’ and within that thoughtI became the fear that I exist as in terms of my own survival – where money, or rather the lack of it sets the value and determines my place in society.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the LIE of Ego where ‘self’ is all that matters, because as the object of my own thoughts, I give attention to myself in/as self-interest – religion of self – instead of taking self-responsibility and directing myself according to what’s best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to reach for conclusions in my ‘place of comfort’, where I blame others for how I experienced myself as having a negative attitude.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself go into my mind and participate in thoughts of what is ‘Right/Good’ and/or ‘Bad/Wrong’ and make decisions according to and as that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find fault in others where I become complacent and thus find fault in other’s as a way of ignoring my own self-doubt.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a nervous energy, uneasy and fearful that something might happen and thus I become apprehensive and exist in fear my own misgivings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be apprehensive to communicate with others and thus I remain stuck in my mind of ‘what if‘s’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ‘set in my ways’ where I accept and allow who I am to be determined according to my past as my memories/behaviors/personalities and characters through which I judge others as myself and fail to recognize what I am seeing as my own self-judgment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear stopping who I am as my imagination and thus when I ‘feel’ inconvenienced, it’s because my past projection of myself is being threatened – the one where I pictured my reality and my life being lived ‘a certain way’ – ‘pie in the sky’ dreams which were nothing more than thoughts in my own head of desires based in and as self-interest and greed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept the feeling of believing myself as being inconvenienced by the actions or reactions of others and in failing to recognize myself within the uneasiness / movement within me as the inconvenience that I exist as in how I separate myself from others according to a value system that I’ve existed as and thus have accepted and allowed, where within our world we are the have’s and the have not’s and we support life accordingly by placing a price tag on the very necessities for life – as those that our Earth provides Equally for Everybody.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the misgivings of “maybe this isn’t what it looks like” or “I don’t like this situation”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look away and say nothing about the pain, misfortune and death that I see is forced upon those who have little to no money, because as such, they are seen to have little to no value/worth within our current world/money system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to reject others according to that which I’ve rejected and denied within myself as the point of taking self-responsibility.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself existing in/as a point of energy, where for example I become moved by the mistreatment of animals, I stop, I breathe.  I see, realize and understand that I have denied standing up and taking self-responsibility for and as them, thus, I commit myself to the decision to assist and support and change who I am from the inside out to one who that is willing to become a living example of what it is to live life according to what’s best for all and I commit myself to educating myself within any giving moment that requires that I do so.

I commit myself to when and as I see movement within me as energy in relation to a point where I judge others through backchat and internal conversations – which strokes my own ego in believing that I can or would be able to do a better job of taking care of something or someone than they are – I stop, I breathe. I see, realize and understand that it is my own misgivings of self that I am existing as, thus, I commit myself to walk the self-corrected application – to stop participation in thoughts, internal conversations and backchat – to instead educate myself about my world, to be willing to Stand Self-Responsible for and as All living beings to manifest Heaven on Earth.

I commit myself to stop searching for an experience as a reason to place a price tag on life.

MisgivingsI commit myself to see, realize and understand that Life here on Earth can and Will change because I am willing to walk the steps necessary that ensure Heaven is Life on Earth.

I commit myself to cross reference myself to be able to Stand within the Principal of/as What’s Best for All and so is best for me.

“From Good/Right and Bad/Wrong to – ‘What’s Best for All’. Whenever one face a moment, relationship – and one find one’s Mind go into ‘this is Right/Good’ and/or ‘Bad/Wrong’, to in the moment change the cross-reference to: Does that stand within the Principle of/as What’s Best for All, and so Best for me or Not? With the ‘Not’ in fact meaning – will this Decision/Direction produce CONSEQUENCE as compromise in me/my relationship to others, or will this bring forth a Solution and/or how can I structure the Decision/Direction into and as an equal and one Solution for me and/or all involved?” Sunette Spies ~ Heaven’s Journey to Life: LIFE-Regulation Practicality (Part Three): DAY 308

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Creation Journey to Life
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Earth Journey to Life
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  1. Pingback: Awkward around Boys - The Dimensions of the Pattern: DAY 180 | Anna's Journey to Life

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