Day 132: Hey, You Belong to Me!

Walking Self-forgiveness here for reactions I realized within myself according to how I experienced myself when a woman was talking/flirting at my partner while we were shopping for groceries today.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how within my relationship with my partner that I still react in jealousy within the illusion of control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I become a character of and as my mind as that of jealousy, how within that moment I am trapping myself in/as emotions of inferiority and superiority and, where I become judgmental of myself and judgmental of those around me, which threatens the perception within my mind of how my relationship with my partner is suppose to be within my illusion of control.

Art by Andrew Gable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I become a character of/as jealousy to/toward my partner where within my mind I hear a voice that proclaims: ‘Hey, ‘you belong to me’, thus, I see, realize, and understand that what I’m really doing is existing within an illusion of control in trying to protect the ‘perception’ I have of our relationship, which is actually me trying to control my partner according to how I ‘want’ him to be in order to keep my illusion of control going in order to maintain how I ‘want’ myself to be/feel in my relationship with my partner, thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have formed my relationship with my partner within a relationship of jealousy and control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how within my relationship with my partner, I have from the very beginning formed a ‘preconceived idea’ which I imposed onto our relationship of how I wanted our relationship to be, thus, in order to keep my ‘idea’ of our relationship in tact, in how I ‘desire’ it to be, I will try and control it through jealousy – where I become jealous of other people that appear to be threatening my desire, want and need of how I ‘intend’ the relationship to be, thus, I commit myself to STOP who I am within the illusion of control in how within and as such I believe that I can somehow take control of another being as who they are as their mind consciousness system and as who they exist as, when I see, realize and understand that there is no way that I can actually control who they are, and there is no self-honesty in doing so.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how when I felt that my relationship to my partner was threatened, I imitated actions to further my control through how I suddenly saw myself physically reach out and grab a hold of his hand and in how I began to walk closer to him as if I was a dog marking ‘my territory’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how within my wants, needs and desires are preconceived ideas that I try to impose onto my relationship, how what I’m actually doing is trying to manifest into reality my own self-interest, because the wants, needs and desires that I perceive myself as, is actually my attempt to continue the illusion of control within and as my mind as consciousness, thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how within the illusion of control I have existed within a cycle of inferiority and superiority in always trying to connect to that which I’m existing in separation to/of, thus why I try and manifest my connection in my relationship through/as jealousy as energy experiences of positive/negative as wants, needs and desires, thus our relationship continues as a constant chase, over and over within the neutrality of/as the illusion of control, thus, I commit myself to stop fueling wants, needs and desires through and as jealousy where I then change my behavior and manifest and create stress unto me as my physical body when the fact is that in self-honesty, I see, realize and understand that it is I who decides and directs who I am as my mind and it is I that has to face who I am within everything here and within that, I commit myself to slow myself down and come together as One as All to manifest and create Heaven on Earth.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how within and as a character of and as my mind as jealousy, how, I never actually realized until today just what a monster feels like on the inside of me as my physical body in that it felt as if I was growing from the inside out, swelling up within myself in fear of losing my ‘perception’ of control, thus, when I stop and breathe, I see in self-honesty that the desire to control my partner/other beings is only an illusion, thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize how jealousy damAGES the internal organs and cells of and as me as my physical body, and furthermore, I commit myself to Never Forget that Love as we’ve lived it as Consciousness has never existed within and as the Principle of Equality.

When and as I see myself reacting in jealousy in order to fuel my wants, needs and desires within an illusion of control, I Stop. I BREATHE. I commit myself to investigate my thoughts, my words and how I am behaving, in order to stop manifesting and creating relationships within my reality according to the components of want, need and desire and jealousy within the illusion of control through and as superiority/inferiority as that which fuels me in my wants, needs and desires, and jealousy within and as the illusion of control.

I commit myself to stop pushing myself to be and have an experience of myself within and as wants, needs and desires in trying to control a relationship because I see, realize and understand that that is NOT actually who, what and how I am when I am breathing in and as self-honesty.

“I commit myself to SHOW that the LIGHT and LOVE Created in the Mind as Consciousness, is Only a Chamber of Illusion, Where the Fearful Hide from Responsibility.” ~ Bernard Poolman

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One thought on “Day 132: Hey, You Belong to Me!

  1. Pingback: The MORE we Consume, the LESS we Live: DAY 105

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