Day 128: Fear Factor

Today I became aware of how I was existing in fear as I was talking to and scheduling an upcoming appointment for myself. Thus the following self-forgiveness.


I forgive myself for not realizing how through love and friendship I have created my own illusion of ‘feeling’ safe and happy – where momentarily, I perceive myself as no longer feeling alone and lonely – instead of realizing how I have accepted and allowed the perception of myself to willingly participate within energetic experiences where I believed myself as having lived a life that was happy, safe and fulfilled according to the illusion I created through love and friendships – how I failed to recognize that I sabotage myself through undermining the cause of/as who I am in hiding in shame of/as the fear of being alone and the fear of others, thus, I forgive myself that I have through and as memories/characters and personalities participated in/as thoughts within my mind, as well as internal conversations/backchat and energy experiences as reactions of emotions and feelings through my physical behaviors – which change in how I interact within my environment according to the people I come in contact with as I maintain a sense of survival within this word in how I’ve accepted and allowed Money to be the Number One motivating Fear Factor and, within that, I forgive myself for not realizing the extent of how I developed and maintained myself as Ego, Greed and Self-interest in order to reach a level of functionality, thus, I see, realize and understand how fear is the motivator within how and why our world exists as hell on earth and how and why I have chosen to ignore who/what I have existed as within my secret mind because as my mind, I feared change, because real change requires that I change from within, thus, I forgive myself for not being completely willing to give up that which I use as entertainment, which I use as a way of avoiding facing my responsibility in how our world exists, and I see how I have existed within resistance to change because I didn’t want to upset the character I perceived myself to be even as I see the cords of slavery dangling within the discord of and as life, and within that, I forgive myself for not realizing how I have blamed, judged and projected myself in/as the characters of/as my mind onto others to reinforce the fear within me as them being the reason for my constant internal fear of loss, thus, I forgive myself for not realizing how all separation is fear of loss and is what keeps us enslaved to/as the direction of/as our mind as consciousness.

I commit myself to stop existing in fear of loss and for how I’ve used fear to become characters and personalities to take on roles of falling in love and friendships to boost me as ego in order to further fuel my own illusion, to avoid facing me within what I’ve accepted and allowed to exist according to the abuse within and as our current world/money system – thus, I commit myself to breathe and stand in Support of an Equal Money system, to assist us to Support Each other to see, realize and understand that fear only exists when we are participating within and as it as our mind as consciousness.

I Commit myself to walk in self-honesty, to unravel who I am within the totality of and as my mind as consciousness – to stop manifesting more and more of the mess we exist within, as fears and dishonesties – to be responsible for how the world/money systems of this world exist as and to Stand up and Change me through self-corrective application, to thus support a system which supports a World according to what’s best for All.

“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that Enlightenment is the Justification Used to Protect the Greed of Happiness as a Value that Must Be Pursued Regardless of Conditions Caused By the World System, because the Enlightened Make themselves Believe that the Physical World is an Illusion, But the Enlightened will Not Test their theory through Embracing Poverty by Living WITHOUT Money, and In fact Do Just the OPPOSITE and Focus on Accumulating More Money to Protect themselves Against the REALITY of Poverty.” Bernard Poolman

“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that FORGIVENESS is a Gift Given to Self to bring an END to the Illusion of a MINDSELF that is a Self Created Illusion, as Energy Presented as THOUGHTS, Feelings, and Emotions.” Bernard Poolman

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