Day 87: Feels so good, Hurts so bad

Investigating a point that come up today – where I see that a point of guilt is always here as me as a mother. Thus, here sharing Self-forgiveness Statements.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to carry guilt and fear within my solar plexus as I withdraw into myself into a pit of anxiety where I’ve manifested pain as regret for the sorrows of tomorrow according to how and what I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist as in guilt and fear of today.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand how when one becomes pregnant and has a child, one is in-fact thus enslaved to/as the life of the child for the rest of one’s life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in/as a character of guilt, where, as a mother, through my own acceptance I have existed within a belief that to love one’s child is protect and rescue them from their mistakes – instead of understanding and living as an example of what it is take self-responsibility for self as our physical body as well as our physical world/reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand how polarity exists in/as love/hate equations/relationships – such as between mother and child – where to love gives an illusion of ‘feeling’ good, yet within that are the lies inFLUenced and manifested in/as pain which hurts so bad because we hold them within and as our physical body and thus project and pass the sins of the fathers as our famiLIEs onto our children in/as MEmories/Characters/Personalities and thoughts and illusions within our mind and within our physical body where we beLIEf the lies of how life will be when we have a baby even though we have actually no idea how it will be, nor are we prepared in any way to assist the child to become someone who will take self-responsibility for their physical body and our physical world/reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in/as guilt, let my child get away with everything in how they behaved because I didn’t want to see them experience themselves as sad and depressed or hurt and suffer in any way because I was existing in guilt according to how I see myself through my minds-eyes as not being a mother who takes self-responsibility for her physical body, nor this physical reality and so everything I have seen in relation to my children, I have seen through guilt which I projected as love.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand how in having a child, it is my absolute responsibility to remember how that, every single second of my life will be with the child and that my absolute responsibility is their future within this world/reality – a physical lifetime.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand that love as I have lived it, to/towards my children, has in-fact, Not been a real expression of self as love – but has been me living in and as an expression of guilt – how within my interactions with my children, I attempt to give my children everything possible in order to try and ‘make’ them ‘feel’ better within their lives, thus existing within the starting point of guilt and therefore, I’ve never actually loved my children as who they are as a being as a part of me within the relationship of equality and oneness.

to be continued

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(Please read Heaven’s Blog with regards to: Parenting Building a Child’s Character)

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“I allowed my children all things and made sure I am with them to guide them through it so that they can see for themselves if it is acceptable or not.

All directive guidance is based on placing yourself in the shoes of others and to see if you would like to have things happen to you or not.

One cannot prevent all things, but you can establish at this stage a model of communication where the child will feel free to trust you with anything –therefore one cannot be reactive at all, escpecially in the first 7 years.

When they are older, it is important to also teach them skills to handle conflict –that no conflict must be ruled by fear or anxiety –breath and remain here and respond with common sense.” ~ Bernard Poolman

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