Day 75: I will never do That again

A point came up today reminding me of the many personalities I’ve existed as within stating, ‘I will never do That again’. One in particular I was reminded of today, after having not smoked marijuana in a very, long time, I was triggered by a commercial on t.v., with thoughts of ‘lighting up’, and, it was if I could almost smell the shit.

The last time I spoke the words that ‘I will never smoke weed again, was the time before the last time that I smoked it, and eventually, I did smoke again. The last time I smoked it however, I didn’t speak the words, ‘I will never do that again’. Instead, I investigated the point slowly to see who I’ve been within the desire to smoke within my mind.

And, through applying self-forgiveness – and the tools of Desteni I Process – I was able to when the thought today to light one up presented me with a decision, it was an easy decision to Not participate and thus the decision of no longer smoking weed has become a very simple one.

Was a very cool point for me in realizing how effective walking this process is in changing one’s self from the inside out. I’m very grateful for the gift of self-forgiveness, and my decision to walk the Journey to Life, together as a group as Destonians, changing the world, beginning first with self.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create personalities of myself with repeating condescending patterns, where when the energy of my descent as a particular character hits bottom, I will stand up within my fall and project the future of myself by becoming the, ‘I will never do that again character’.

I forgive myself for the countless number of times I have lied to myself and others as myself in/as a personality stating, ‘ I will never do that again’.

I forgive myself for the countless number of times that I have set myself up as a failure in/as personalities of, ‘ I will never do that again’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to in/as the ‘I will never do that again’ personality’, to condemn, judge and feel guilty towards myself until finally, I repeat the very pattern I’ve just days before swore off of.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist in/as the ‘I will never do that again personality’ where within the promise of hope I create an alternate reality projection where I manifest and experience myself in/as an alternate reality only in my mind as consciousness, because there is No physical reality in a promise, only hope.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself within the personality of ‘ I Will Never do that again’ to go into to cycles of victimization wherein I substitute one positive energetic experience for another as a way of balancing the negative energy experiences where I’ve aligned myself in/as the thoughts and feelings of ‘great! I fucked up again, I am worthless’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand how the personalities I exist as already have a delusional life before the physical application of/as me walks them into to action as movements of myself, because they first began within and as my mind as consciousness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see/realize and understand that in making the statement in/as the personality of ‘I will never do that again’, I am actually making the statement from the starting point self-dishonesty, because I’ve not actually taken a moment to look at who and where I am within my mind according to the actions I’m confirming myself within, in relation to what it is I’m stating that ‘I will never do again’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to in/as the ‘I will never do that again’ personality, to not see/realize and understand how in walking as that personality – without completely walked the process of and as it, through and as my mind, through self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements – I have elevated myself into an egotistical state of mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself in/as the ‘I will never do that again’ personality, to make statements that I’ve not yet walked within my process in order to be able to stand as the words I’m stating.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself in/as the ‘I will never do that again’ personality to actually be participating in and as energy and within that my words are nothing but empty statements of only talking – instead of actually physically walking self change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and live up to egotistical statements of myself – instead of physically practically living who I am here within this moment in/as breath.

I commit myself to slow myself down and to stop making empty statements where I then put myself into scripting characters and personalities of myself without having investigated who I am within how and what I’m speaking as the words as who I am.

I commit myself to when I make statements of changing/stopping this or that, that I know exactly how it is that I am going to change, according to a practical physical application guideline for myself.

I commit myself to in self-honesty investigate how I’ve created me as my mind as the patterns, constructs, and characters I’ve accepted and allowed, to thus forgive, realign and redesign through a practical, physical living application as who I am, according to what’s best for all.

“A Personality is created from an accumulation of characters/similar characters that come-together and then manifested an entire person/personality that you physically live-out.” Sunette Destonian Spies

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