Day 66: Radical Relationship: Dragging Faces of Anger

Today I reacted to my partner in anger because of his facial expression when he looked at me which I took as an expression of dislike and/or dissatisfaction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become anger.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand that today when I reacted in anger towards my partner, I was existing within inferiority and insecurity according to a belief about myself that I accepted and allowed when I was a child where when my father became irritated at me, I took his facial expression as a sign of not being loved and/or wanted, thus, I forgive myself that I haven’t seen/realized or understood that the anger I’ve existed as is a mind construct born infear within and as an ongoing pattern which I accepted and allowed to be triggered through my eyes upon seeing certain physical expressions of others associated with pictures in my mind from/as memories from my childhood.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as anger manipulate my partner according to past patterns of when we were first together whereas through words in how we argued I would keep going on and on until he would eventually apologize even if he didn’t really see how or why he was apologizing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as anger to justify using spiteful words and raising my voice because I know that in doing so it will cause my partner to ‘shut down’, which I see/realize and understand now is how me as my mind gets off within a point of superiority thus, me in/as anger, I teeter back and forth between polarities of inferiority and superiority justifying and manipulating my way to scoring a win.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in/as anger not realize that to be the abused and the abuser is so because one doesn’t exist without the other.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as anger to be/become possessed inspite of the energetic charge having affects upon myself and my partner causing stress upon our physical bodies, wherein I experienced feeling as if my face felt draggy and my body felt heavy like being dragged through quick sand, and within that I see/realize and understand how accumulating anger in/as self initializes stAGES of aging through and as the abuse we project/manifest onto others and ourselves as our physical body where humans are the AGE of looking like who/how and what we’re living deMANds of.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand that I was not really angry at my partner, that I was actually angry at myself because I was participating within feeling disappointed in myself – wherein I was judging my process as not being effective and as anger was me reflecting my own inner inferiorities towards myself using anger as an energy to try and hide from myself by through projecting superiority, in order to receive validation to make myself feel better inside myself and, when my inner hunger for self intimacy wasn’t satisfied, I lashed out again at my partner in verbal diarrhea.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself in/as anger to take advantage of my partner whose nature is to please, thus in/as anger I am enforcing and enabling him to remain within patterns he is forgiving and directing through self-corrective application thus, in/as anger, toward him, I am saboteur.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself reacting in/as anger infear to/towards my partner and/or anyone and/or anything for that matter, I Stop. I Breathe. I realize that the pattern of/as me as anger serves only as abuse, and in self-honesty, I see/realize and understand that that is unacceptable and I am no longer willing to exist as such.

I commit myself to releasing through self-forgiveness who I am as anger and through self-corrective application as I walk the path of self-honesty with/as my partner in agreement standing in support of a world according to what’s best of all.

I commit myself to show how through self-forgiveness and walking the Desteni I Process we are able to redefine relationships to one which will stand equally together in agreement, and as a group supporting that which supports all life according to what’s best for all.

7 thoughts on “Day 66: Radical Relationship: Dragging Faces of Anger

  1. Pingback: Dag 60 – Boos op het onbewuste « Reis van ziel naar Leven

  2. I am usually stuck in the same kind of quick-sand anger, with my little sister especially, and my parents. Thank you. You reminded me again, that it is all my system reacting to others.

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