Day 51: Longing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to long to be part of something and at the same time not know what that something is and simultaneously fearing whatever that something may be, thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a simulation within my mind for the appearance of myself as having temporarily fulfilled the ‘longing’ within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not realize in self-honesty that it is intimacy (in-to-me-i-see), that I am longing for when I feel as if I’m suppose to hold onto something or someone or as if I’m leaving someone or something behind – it is only me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate longing with believing that I must seek out my longing through an experience of falling in love when in actuality I see/realize and understand that it’s in the search that I long.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that my longing began as a young child wanting to be closer to my mom and dad but experiencing inner conflict and fear of not knowing whether I might be imposing on them for my being there.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to throughout my life, experience constant internal conflict of wanting to be a part of something but also fearing I was imposing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate myself from life living a definition of self as an imposter thus hiding within my mind in self-deception.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that in the illusion as energy I attempt to define myself and when the energy runs out I feel lost again in longing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to long to be like everyone else and within that Not realizing that I already am.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as the one who always got left behind, when in reality what was happening was me existing in CONcern for my mind as thoughts, feelings and fears for how I was experiencing myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the relationship connections formed in this world as myself with others is an illusion and that that which I have experienced in this world, with regards to love and relationships and feelings of any and all kind, have not actually been real, and that all that is important is who I am as me here in self-honesty according to what’s best for all,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe, live, and become the words ‘dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing’, where within that I solidified my own illusion and abdicated myself from life itself.

When and as I see myself longing within a feeling of wanting to be a part of something and / or someone, I stop. I breathe. I accept and commit myself to release myself from the state of mind as longing.

When and as I see myself longing and lingering within a feeling of imposing, I stop. I breathe. I see/realize and understand that as I remain aware of me here breathing and directing myself through self-forgiveness in self-honesty – the imposter as me stops.

I commit myself to remaining aware of who I am in and as longing and to purify my mind as the word longing through self-forgiveness and self-correction and self-directive application.

I commit myself in self-honesty to through breathing Stop lingering within feelings of imposing.

I commit myself in self-honesty to Stop me as an imposter.

I commit myself to Stop me as longing, in realizing that what I long for is me supporting me in self-honesty supporting life according to what’s best for All.

I commit myself to through daily writing and self-forgiveness, to face me in self-honesty as I peel away and release the layers of self through Self-Corrective Application – to Release and bring to the Point of Nothingness All and Everything Not in Service to Life in Every Way.

I commit myself to realizing that it is only as a group coming together as one that we will as a humanity have the opportunity to change what is here in creating Heaven on Earth, where through an Equal Money system we Will eventually bring an end to our current longing for living life as an illusion creating our reality in war, poverty and starvation and thus breeds murder and rape upon our children, ourselves and our land, thus we will Stand together, til it is done and we’re All standing Equal and One.

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