Day 50: The Situationist


Today I reacted to a ‘situation’ in irritation and anger in how life is always about Not having enough money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in anger and irritation instead of realizing that I was hiding from myself within a desire where all I wanted was to be cared for.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that I’m addicted to the internal anger just sitting there inside me of unresolved issues I’ve held onto regarding how money effects every situation within our lives.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny my addiction to anger in how I’ve used money as leverage to judge, manipulate and deceive members of my family.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny my addicted nature where in ‘situations’ regarding ‘lack of money’, I utilize anger in judging, manipulating and deceiving myself where I’ve told myself that I’m not driven by money – that I just want a happy and peaceful life for my friends and family, when in reality, I was brewing inside with thoughts of how ‘life isn’t fair’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that anger towards the words spoken/written by another is an indication for myself to see that I am in fact only reacting according to how I have defined myself within and as the words I’m reacting to.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use anger in spite as a reason to say ‘I told you so’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create situations from what is actually boredom of my mind as consciousness instead of stopping what I realize, which is that boredom is a pattern – not a reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have baited the hook so to speak in setting myself up to become ‘angry’ just to make myself feel ‘better’ through becoming an emotional bail bondsman, always willing to ‘bail someone out’ of another financial crisis in order to make myself feel better, thus continually seeking myself within polarity equations of creating a positive experience to feel better about a negative experience I’m having of myself.

When and as I see myself reacting to the words spoken/written by another, I stop. I breathe. I commit myself to seeing who I am within my reactive nature as the word and forgiving myself in order to purify my mind as it through self-forgiveness and self-directive application.

I commit myself to Stop myself as the situationist just waiting like a vampire to suck upon others experiences just for the energy within emotional and feeling charges.

I commit myself to proving that with an Equal Money system we will no longer live situations of energy as life, instead we will breathe life from/as expressions of Us, Equal to and One as All.

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