Day 20: The Reality of Self-Honesty

Today – I stopped the time-loop I’d been riding. It was like one of those rides one might ride at a state fair – where the whole time you’re on the ride, you’re scared half to death, and yet, within the fear, is an odd sense of comfort – which is exactly where the starting point of self-dishonesty lies hidden deep within the secret mind.

It was difficult to admit that I’d lost control and submitted to the energetic direction of my mind. I see now exactly where I made the decision to do so – to not stop myself. The worst part was in the hours that followed my decision – in how I participated in my thoughts and how my participation as the thoughts changed who I was as I participated within my physical reality .


During the time-loop, I had the illusion of control that I remembered hearing Anu refer to in an interview: ‘Reptilians – The Obvious Secret – Reality or Illusion – Part 18’ – where in my mind, there were random thoughts of self-judgment and guilt and where I even tried to control my self-forgiveness.

It was re-hearing that particular interview today that assisted me to stop and breathe, and it was then that I was able to forgive myself. The time-loop of me looping within what was actually a point of self-punishment stopped, when I finally forgave myself.

I will say that I’m grateful for the opportunity to ‘turn back time’ so to speak, and, for the gift I gave myself – The Reality of Self-Honesty.

The exact details of my time-loop are between my partner and me, however for the sake of those who may be reading this – I’ll reference a hint with the following quote: “The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.” ~Kin Hubbard

Sharing here a few of my Self-Forgiveness with regards to the point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to bring my past back to me to live again as me – instead of letting go of the past, meaning letting go of my relationship to/towards the past within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to/towards my past within myself as memories/experiences and energy thus creating a time-loop/cycle within the past I’m existing as.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist within a relationship to/towards my past within myself where I then re-instated the past and thus re-created a time-loop/cycle of myself within the past as we exist here.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to participate within a personal connection/relationship with my past in energy wherein I connected to my past within myself within the energetic emotion/feeling charge which I had to/towards memories and past experiences within a definition to/towards myself and my partner/relationship.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to participate within self-judgment and guilt compounding further my participation in and as energy connected to my past within myself and thus re-creating a time-loop/cycle of myself within the past I’m existing as.

I commit myself to letting go of the past including letting go of my personal connections/relationships with my past in energy and to re-define who I am within myself without energy and instead with clarity and stability.

I commit myself to severing energetic connections of my past within myself as memories and past experiences and to let go of me in relationship with my past – to realize that I have only the moment within breath and self-honesty to direct myself living in the moment of breath where I am able to change and transcend the past in the moment of seeing what I’m accepting and allowing, thus, I’m able to stop and change myself within and as walking as breath in self-stability to face my past and walk through the past as me in self-honesty to change me in practical self-corrective application.

I commit myself to letting go of my past within myself and walking the moment as breath in self-stability and self-clarity as I face and walk through the manifested past which is me within and without – to birth myself from the system, the past – that exist as a beginning and an end and to live here as the moment in and as self-expression in standing eternal in support of and as life here, in acceptance of and as Equality.

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