Day 3: Walking as the Pregnant Teen

I forgive myself that I didn’t consider how this world actually exists within the constant struggles of survival mode when I made the decision to Fuck, and, CONsequentially the decision to get pregnant, which was just so I could move out of my mothers house to party and have ‘fun’.

I forgive myself that I held no consideration for bringing a life into this world because in dishonesty I made the decision to get pregnant as I existed within a fantasy mindset of consciousness searching for experiences that resonated with the urges that I longed for – thus I didn’t consider what I was accepting and allowing and what I was responsible for and as which was me existing equal and one to all the abuse existing within this world and as such I abdicated myself from life itself.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be angry at the kids in my senior class in high school for calling me a slut and a whore when in fact they were reflecting back to me how I was attacking and feeling towards myself.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to stop going to school because I felt it was too much to handle physically as well as emotionally painful because I believed I had changed inside and that the outside world was treating me differently when really I was seeing reflections of my own suppression’s.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to resent being pregnant because I felt that I looked fat and ugly which caused me to not want to go to school when really inside myself I was existing in separation from me as my physical body.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become lonely and depressed because I missed my friends something awful until finally I gave up on my studies and as a result I lacked a credit and a half which kept me from graduating which I used as a justification for not facing a compounded point of self-doubt.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to barely remember who I was before I had my son at 17, and for resenting myself for feeling as if I’ve always lived my life as a mom and as such I always tried to take responsibility for others instead of me taking and living self-responsibility I would try to fix myself through others.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to give myself permission that it’s ok to birth a living being from my physical body and continue to participate within and as my mind of thoughts, feelings and emotions -instead of standing up and taking self-responsibility for my actions of self through a practical living application through self-forgiveness and live the example as life to bring about a world that’s best for all so that all living beings are provided for and live in dignity.

I forgive myself for the anger and blame I carried towards my parents because ultimately the decision I made was one in which forever changed me, my parents and most importantly the life of a child who was raised without the direction and/or living example in how to move self within our physical reality in order to exist within and as self-trust and self-responsibility and to direct self within self-honesty in support of all life – and thus, is struggling in dishonesty in his walk within the steps outlined by those before him.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be angry at my son for him being angry at me for not being a better mom as well as for me believing that he was right to feel that way when the truth is there is no excuse for any one to Not take self-responsibility for Every Single Living being existing on this earth through standing up for a system that will assure that all life will be given equally the same as their neighbor – give unto another that which you wish to receive.

When and as I see myself pre-occupied with the life I’ve lived – I stop. I breathe – I realize that the path I walked is no longer who I am and I see and comprehend that there is something much more important here than patterns of self-interst and crying over the past.
What’s important is that life is Not being supported Equally amongst us within our world.

As such, life itself is in jeopardy because as we allow abuse in our destroying of each other, we’re allowing abuse and destroying our earth and the resources she provides us in order for us to be able to exist here.

The common sense is here to see – we step up our process and we support our mother Earth in supporting all life equally.

I commit myself in standing up for and as all life in bringing about an Equal Money System – the beginning in bringing about Heaven on Earth.

Join Us – Let’s Walk – Till it is done – Equality