Naked

I was in bed, naked with my partner, and he asked me to get up and turn on the light… I saw five main problems with his request:

1. I was naked. 2. I would have to get out from under the covers to turn on the light, thus exposing my nakedness. 3. Once the light was on he’d be able to ‘see’ me naked and exposed. 4. I was naked. 5. I was naked… I didn’t mind getting up to turn on the light, but, I was scared of exposure. Fear the exposure would cause him to stop loving me, wanting me and that maybe, he’d be ashamed of me…

How is it that I’m afraid to be seen naked with the lights on? It’s interesting that I’ve often feared exposing myself in speaking and writing. In writing we are essentially standing before ourself exposed/naked. Though – the flesh of our human physical body stimulates the sex systems of consciousness and it’s not surprising that many have similar fear, of being seen naked, by the opposite sex especially.

I’m quite certain my fear of naked is somehow motivated by money because, everything is. The sex and porn industry is a multibillion dollar business and everything and everyone is affected constantly by subliminal messages which are sex orientated through commercialism for instance, where sex is presented so subtly that one actually believe their experience was their idea and real when in fact we’re ‘acting’ on impulse. The fact that most of us don’t match up to the picture presentations that are impulsed have certainly provided us with more to ‘think’ and ‘judge’ about ourselves. This is Not about blaming because we are each equally responsible for what we’ve accepted and allowed and for how the current money system exists as.

Emmeline is my 18 month old granddaughter. She doesn’t yet grasp the nature of adulthood such as sexual urges and impulses. She so enjoys herself and, often she’ll shed off all of her clothes, her shoes and socks and then, she just runs through the house. She’ll stop and look and me as if to say, see, you can do it to. Yet, what would one say if they walked in to see me running naked through the house with her? Would they call it child abuse?

Backchat thoughts here that I remember myself saying: Get some clothes on! I’ve said those words in playful gesture to my own children, yet now am seeing how I was masking myself in my own self fear and self denial. A point of shame for reasons that I never even stopped to consider and/or question and in doing so am realizing the fear of ‘naked’, is Not real.

What is it like to walk through the woods naked, enjoying the air on my physical body. What is it like to run naked? I’ve skinny dipped a few times, but, I was drunk or close to it every time.

When I’m breathing – stopping all thought participation – I’m aware in common sense that my physical body is actually very elegant. It displays me as what I’ve accepted and allowed through habits, tastes, personalities, babies I’ve birthed, all of the choices and more I’ve made in my life. It is in those that I’ve scripted and molded and formed an opinion of myself and imposed them to settle upon and as my physical body which in separation causes suppression of guilt and shame. My physical body has paid the price for the sake of me participating in and as my mind, yet my physical body has never forsaken me, as it is here breathing for and as me equally as life.

We’ve taken away the essence of our natural birthed form of self as life. The physical breathing expression of ourselves, and we’ve draped it in opinions, ideas and judgments, ego and greed, and it has cost us our very life. I Stop. I Breathe. I Forgive Myself.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to clothe/mask my fear of self in denial, shaming myself for reasons that I never even stopped to consider and/or question.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed being ‘better than’ as the polarity opposite of ‘not good enough’ to exist within and as me as my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear walking through the house naked because I participated in thoughts in fear of being rejected when in fact I was the one rejecting me as my physical body in dishonesty as a manifestation of rejection walking. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to reject me as my physical body. I stop. I breathe.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe being naked is ‘bad’ without clear understanding of the polarity of ‘bad’ and ‘good’.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to disregard, get mad at, and take for granted me as my physical body according to seeing through the eyes of the mind consciousness system as being ‘better than’ because of accepted and allowed comparisons of seeing me through the eyes of other women and judging me as being better than and/or worse than.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to be comfortable with myself, naked, one as my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to change, shape and control me as my physical body through emotional symbolism and impulses.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to require money as a means of providing and proving myself to be more appealing so that I would be loved and desired by a potential mate.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use sex as a means of survival in our current money system causing me to feel guilt and shame to and towards me as my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear experiencing regret.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define self expression according to a picture of what a sexy beautiful woman is according to an accepted idea and/or opinion supported and intended by our current money system as a way of keeping myself in my mind separate from me as my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in judgment towards me as being better than my sister through seeing me through the eyes of my sister through comparison and then judging me as being better than her.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to forsake and separate me from me as my physical body as always pinpointing something about my naked physical body that I wished I could improve.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from my physical body because I wanted my ass to look tight and firm in a pair of jeans within the polarity of good and bad, positive and negative as I dreamed of looking like someone other than me as my physical body.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to force conditions of indulgence and/or lack upon my physical body because I feared who I thought I’d become if I did or didn’t do specific things, like diet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider the effects my participation in drugs had on me as my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support the current money system which accepts and allows abuse and death through the lack of money/ability for one to feed and provide for ones physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to push my physical body to the limits in energetic pretense patterns according to how I ‘wished to experience myself’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect, avoid seeing, hearing, touching and being one with my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to through participation in memories, have repressed and impressed traumatic stresses upon my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my power away to sex as a way of fulfilling a fantasy existent in thought patterns.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my power away to desire, want and need for a relationship, even when I knew the relationship would cause harm to me as my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to engage in a relationship to be socially acceptable, loved and desired.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to require money as a means of providing and proving myself as more appealing as me as my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define sex as having to be shameful and secret instead of it being self expression as me.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to touch me, to feel me within and as oneness and equality as my human physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define self power and self support according to relationship and sex.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear God would be ashamed of me for having sex instead of realizing that only I direct me in self-honesty in every moment as breath as who I am as the directive principle of me as my physical body as all as one as equal.

I see and I realize that I do Not fear being naked. In actuality, I fear the system, because I already know what the system is going to do/be and react as, because I am it. We as people design the systems and, we make the decisions and benefit and/or loose based on our decisions.

When our decisions are based upon what is best for all, then we’ll All Stand Naked as who we’ve accepted and allowed ourselves to be.

Then we’ll have the Answer and the Solution of an ‘Equal Money System’, the ‘Solution of Equality’. Finally, we’ll have an Answer and the Solution for the starving child as to why we allowed systems to abuse and enslave us to the point of allowing another living being to physically starve to death.

I accept me as my physical body. I accept all life as their physical bodies. I choose not to be ashamed. I choose to stand up and stop the systems of consciousness. I choose all life in dignity – over money. I choose an ‘Equal Money System’. I direct myself according to the ‘Principle of Equality’.

I direct me in self-honesty in and as my physical body breathing, naked.

3 thoughts on “Naked

  1. Awesome post here. I often experience exactly the same. I also had an interesting realization in regards to my body and that is that it is only through the projected image that I do not like my body or where I believe that there is something wrong with it – because actually touching myself, caressing myself or being touched by another is awesome and is simply here, physically so. Thanks for sharing Cathy!

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