I read an article a couple of weeks ago about female college students joining a website in order to meet men. Rich older men, in which they would then ultimately exchange sex for money in order to pay their college debt and/or any outstanding bills they couldn’t afford. The news article was titled ‘Seeking Arrangement: College Students Using ‘Sugar Daddies’ To Pay Off Loan Debt’. I was finishing a lesson through my Desteni I Process class, so, I placed a note for myself to come back to and investigate myself with regards to the point of judgment that I saw in how I was existing as toward the women in the article.
However, coming back to the point, I sensed hesitation and a general lack of interest, so I decided to make a video with the same name as the article: ‘Seeking Arrangement: College Students Using ‘Sugar Daddies’ To Pay Off Loan Debt’.
As I made the video, I allowed myself to see what came forth as a visual representation according to how my mind was processing the article and information.
I saw how I was superimposing (projecting) judgment onto the persons involved in the article and, how I was lessoning their experience through judging their situation as that of being ‘nothing’ compared to those who are starving to death and/or are living in poverty and homelessness around the world. The video provided me with excellent support so I could see as an example, how I had been existing through definitions, pictures and music through the eyes and direction of my mind according to how I was impulsed, patterned, controlled and constructed to become, which was,,, it was as though I was pimping and exploiting their experience within a point of suspense and a perverse glamour – similar to something I’ve seen in movies.
What was coming forth from within me was what I’ve accepted and allowed according to interpretations/definitions and stimulated me to believe that what the women were having to do, was somehow, striking and noble, spirited and/or heroic, and as such I judged them as less than those who are struggling with lesser means to survive.
I saw how I was existing in separation and selling myself to a limited self-definition where I hid in guilt and self judgment which I then projected onto them – according to how I’ve accepted and allowed ‘myself’ to be controlled and/or pimped out through the media and/or movies to glorify acts imposed upon our physical body and our physical reality – according to how our current money system is designed. To such a degree that I’ve disregarded others experiences of themselves as being real, that of being actually lived as, through acts of physical abuse and condemnation which often leads to physical disease and death.
I saw how I must forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize, that in accepting and allowing me to accept and allow emotions and feelings to exist in me and to be experienced by me, in how I’ve participated and acted out/within and as such emotions and feelings – which indicate that I am accepting and allowing me to sell myself short within the accepted and allowed existence/definition of me, as the emotions and feelings and judgments that I project onto others. Which determines, controls, influences and directs who I am here in this moment, as well as determines, controls, influences and directs how all life experiences themselves in this reality.
Thus accepting and allowing me to prostitute me to/towards the limited expression of emotions and feelings, thoughts and memories – as such I’ve accepted and allowed limitation of selling myself short in the accepted and allowed existence of me as ‘self prostituting’ myself as well as all life.
The judgment I was projecting onto the women living the manifested physical consequences of our current money system, by selling their physical body through acts of sex in order to receive money to survive in this reality, was merely me judging me of the accepted and allowed act of prostituting myself to/towards fear of survival, living without money, obviously, fear of facing me.
And, because of the acceptance and allowance of fear having power over and of me, I’ve sold myself short within accepting and allowing memories of the past to have control and power over me. Where I change and alter who I am, which indicates that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to them, limiting me to the existence of me as the memories I have prostituted myself as – as well limiting all life to a continued existence of prostituting itself in order to survive according to our current money system.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to prostitute myself into, as, and through thoughts, feelings, emotions and memories, wherein I projected judgment onto others according to how I was judging myself in how I was existing through the means of an accepted survival mode through and as our current money system by accepting and allowing definitions and fear to/towards money, as well as accepting the control placed by glamour and understating the crime against our physical bodies as portrayed through the media and movies, wherein’ reality’ is portrayed through fictional characters and then lessoned by the mind of consciousness and then accepted, allowed and ignored in order to further enslave us as humanity into continuing to accept and allow our current money system.
When and as I see myself existing in such a pattern, I realize that the mind has patterns and components that are impulsed through pictures, thoughts, memories, words, movement, sound, symbols, knowledge and/or information and are specifically placed and intended to alter and/or reduce our ability to see the realness and depth of the atrocities that we accept and allow to exist within our current reality. I Stop. I Breathe and I direct myself to be aware of what I am accepting and allowing myself to be in this moment here so as to direct myself according to and as a Principle of Equality as I stand in support of an Equal Money System, so that all life will be supported in order to experience themselves within our physical reality in dignity, as all as one as equal.