Forgiving myself the victim through Desteni I Process


I shared most of my day yesterday with my 10 month old granddaughter who is just beginning to take her first steps toward walking.  I then completed my 4th mind construct in the Self-development and Leadership course that I’m taking through Desteni I Process/SRA 2.  This particular assignment was in regards to my ‘lack of relationship with my son’.

To combine these two specific moments of my day was significant because to share with a 10 month old, her first steps in walking and standing on her own two feet – her beginning moment where her physical body, her toes and feet, her legs, her arms, her torso, everything about her physical self is teaching herself to walk.  She knows nothing more than to be here within and as her physical body as she balances and moves herself.  There are no existing thoughts yet of falling and/or hurting herself, or thoughts and emotions as to whether or not she’ll be able to afford for herself a stylish pair of shoes one day, nor is their yet the fear of not having money to provide food, shelter and clothes for herself. 

I see how as a child, I began similar as her.  I walked. I began as most of us to grow up where I learned, copied, accepted, worshipped a God, and feared for my survival because of lack of money and replaced myself as my physical body with thoughts and emotional feelings according to accepted beliefs about God, love, sex, money, power, greed and/or ego. I was directed according to and as my mind as a system of consciousness where I manipulated and justified myself through blaming others according to the direction of my mind. As such I sought to validate myself in deception. 
As I began to learn to talk, think, associate definitions with and as pictures within my mind, I became carbon copies and personalities through patterns and impulses as well as with the assistance from my DNA.  I created belief after belief according to the direction of and as my mind through knowledge and information that I had never even lived.

Only when I felt physical pain did I acknowledge my physical body because I feared the pain instead of asking myself what my physical body was expressing for me to become aware of.  I can only ever remember me as a pattern of self-victimization – where I walked the same mind construct that I began as a child and I have walked it unto here, as who I have become.

Within my relationship with my son, I continued the same pattern that I began towards my father as well as my ex-husbands.  And, similar to every male and/or female relationship that I’ve ever experienced and there are plenty more for me to forgive and release. 

I didn’t question the manipulation of my mind that I was accepting and allowing like the prompts to uploading a new program to our computer. I trusted my mind – instead of me walking as myself in self-honesty unto an understanding according to and as my physical body breathing, walking and, trusting me as my physical body – just as a child who’s beginning to walk.  

Desteni I Process assists me to release and redesign the patterns and through self-corrective application – how to bring everything here, back to self.  To Stand up within and as self-trust, self-responsibility and self-support, for and as all as one as Equal. 


Join Desteni I Process

Where you’ll discover how to forgive self-abusive patterns of self-victimization

Where you’ll discover your self in support of and as all Life Equally – it’s simple


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as a mind system where I believed myself to be a mind system wherein I allowed myself to be programmed as a mind system  -  I stop, I breathe.  Instead I walk as the  expression of life as who I am as the living word within the expression of and as all as one as equal.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that exerting anger onto someone or something separate from me is a statement of blame -  instead I direct me within and as self-honesty as I stand according to and as the Principle of Equality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as the ego/mind within defining the word hypocrisy according to what I believed it to be through knowledge and/or information where I then projected myself onto others and manipulated myself into believing that they were existing as such, when in fact it was me acting and being directed according to and as a mind consciousness system of and as ego/mind and spite.  I stop, I breathe.  When and as I see myself defining and/or participating as a victim through manipulation and/or through blaming – I Stop – I Breath, I direct me here in self-honesty in becoming self-responsible for myself and I stand within and as the principle of equality.   

When and as I see myself existing in self-victimization and self-manipulation through justifications and projections of blame/betrayal towards others as myself – I Stop. I Breathe. I no longer accept or allow myself to participate. I remain stable here in self-honesty as I stand in support of an Equal Money System. so that all may live their life in dignity as all as one as Equal.

One thought on “Forgiving myself the victim through Desteni I Process

  1. LOL, I have downloaded programs onto my computer and now it seems to be this web of “stuff” that I navigate through.
    Nice post, Cathy, thank you.

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