As a child growing up, to be "honest", meant to tell the truth, but more than not, the reasons and/or actions of ‘telling’ a version of the truth, was always according to beliefs and/or opinions, as well as any ‘laws’ that governed us. To be "honest", has not, and does not – according to how we as humanity have defined ourselves and have existed as – stand equal and one within a solution that is practical for all to be able to exist here living in dignity within every moment. I grew up wanting to live in honesty, and I quickly realized that it was usually to my benefit to tell a ‘little white lie’, which was certainly more tolerated and accepted. I didn’t get in as much trouble when telling a ‘little white lie’, because mostly people just wanted to hear what they wanted to hear. We were all to ‘afraid’ of ‘getting our feelings hurt’, and so in order to fit in, I followed along like everyone did.
I began to question my self and my actions in “honesty” one Sunday morning during church service as I participated in the holiday ‘dress up’ for the ‘Mother’s day’ service. All of the women were dressed to the max, wearing brand new dresses with matching handbags, shoes and hats, as well as a wearing a corsage. Everyone of us complimenting the other one about how beautiful their dress was, as we each stood in jealousy of each other. As a woman, I know there was jealousy because later within our own little ‘clicks’ we would talk about ‘so and so’…
As “honesty’, I was existing according to which ever ‘system’ definition I was wanting, seeking and desiring attention as, and/or what energy I was requiring, in order to maintain a belief about myself. Always according to the religion system, education system, and/or relationship/family systems, and always according to any fears that may arise within the energy I wished to escape from and/or wished to experience and exist as.
I overlooked any common sense, because I just wanted to ‘fit in’, and the "truth is", I never questioned my "honesty". It all seemed harmless and I believed that I wasn’t hurting anyone as I existed in the make-believe world of/as the direction of my mind. I never questioned and/or asked myself how my words and actions were affecting others in my world because I was so unaware of how I was participating in who I was and was becoming. I was being directed according to my mind and separating myself from all life here. All of which was within the starting point of money because our current money system is the center point of support for and as the systems that we each exist as, and is where the destruction of our self exists. There is so much fear of survival, which is why an Equal Money System will assist us to stop who we’ve become. We are so busy trying to exist that we haven’t questioned our own placement in how we are actually living against ourselves and each other as we continue to support the current systems.
I am grateful how through Desteni I Process – I have begun to stop myself and see and understand how effective "Self-Honesty" really is. How breathing and becoming aware of myself and asking myself in self-honesty, what am I accepting and allowing myself to exist as – so as to see where to apply self-forgiveness for how dependent my intentions have been as I’ve participated according to my mind of thoughts, feelings and emotions. To exist here free from the energetic outflows, and yet be completely enjoying of myself and others within a Principle of Equality. That which considers all, where my words and actions are one in the same, as All as One as Equal.
It’s a moment by moment process in which I’ve fallen, but I stand back up in self-honesty through self-forgiveness. Stopping support of systems. Stopping separation. That’s the difference between honesty and self-honesty. Self-Honesty assist us to stop self-interest and greed, it builds self-trust, and assists me to see that when I communicate with another, I am communicating with myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and pretend to live as I defined myself as honest – instead of seeing and realizing that the correction of self deception means to find a solution as all as one as equal in every moment as I prove my self in honesty to me in self-honesty in and as my words and actions in the interest of oneness and equality for all living beings.
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