I have just spent the past few evenings alone with my ex-husband, and I survived. lol – I will be continuing soon as I’m only taking a short break to stretch and blog. It’s been of great value for me to face the hidden fears that I have walked as in this life. The timeline of memories and the mind construct I am walking through the tools of the ‘Desteni I Process’ is showing me the justified points of fear of loss that I have existed as. I was so consumed in self interest, and I never once, in all the moments I existed in fear, considered what was truly best for all.
When you’re in a mentally and physically abusive relationship, you cannot really see how absorbed you are in self pity, shame and blame. My thoughts back then, almost 22 years ago, were those of habitual fears of surviving. And, as mind consciousness systems, we have never honestly ever avoided mental and physical self abuse and self sabotage. It’s really messed up because, when you add the stress of trying to survive within our current money system to the equation – we have ourselves ‘the family construct’. Designed and manipulated according to our participation within and as our mind patterns of thoughts and emotional and feeling elements of bliss within our backchat, all of which we believe is something real and beautiful – until the energy stops. And the energy of our experiences always stop. Have you noticed?
Crazy shit the mind… It’s really very primitive, because the mind only works in polarities of fear and survival, and of course, love. And, the mind is not even physical, so our experiences are all created in our head which we then use to create our own projected and manifested illusions – where we then act accordingly and then, we wonder what the hell is wrong with us… Solve the puzzle of your mind mess.
Join ‘Desteni I Process’. Walk the journey of healing self. You are even able to earn an honest income so you can ease the stress of barely surviving in our current monetary system while you’re applying the tools for self. Amazing opportunity.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become swallowed up in energetic desires of lust and love to such a point that I remained self abusive in my attempt to hang on to a relationship I perceived as real and everlasting. I stop. I breathe. I direct me here according to the principle of equality where abuse stops and breath begins.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that someone can ‘make’ me ‘feel’ special where I became intoxicated and was a danger to myself and others as I sought only the energy of an experience of me as I existed in selfishness. Instead I realize that what I perceived to be real was only my mind directing my, instead of me directing me in self-honesty according to what is best for all. Till here no further
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a game piece where I allowed my mind to move me according to false pretensions of what I perceived another expected from me. I stop. I breathe. I stand and face me in self-honesty and realize that I have walked this pattern of me before and I know the results and so the pattern ends here as I direct me, as all as one as Equal.