As I walked the country road today in front of my house, my physical body reminded me to stop and breathe. I was walking on the same road I often walk, when suddenly, I tripped, a small stumble, and as I looked to the road, I see, there’s nothing there. The road was smooth as it always is in that particular place. So – Where was I? Not Here obviously. That’s how my physical assisted me. I had for a moment lost my sense of breath, and I had slipped into the old familiar pattern of self-abuse. Where my thoughts begin to tell me, ‘you’re not smart enough’, ‘quick enough’, ‘young enough’, and/or ‘educated enough’ to be of any assistance to anyone. I had had enough. I stopped. I breathed. I recalled in Lesson 2, of ‘The Desteni I Process’, ‘Interview with a Thought’, how the development of a thought is primarily through interpretation. I also recalled the recent mind constructs I’ve written and walked in SRA recently, where I have seen for myself how I had accepted and allowed self-abuse through my thought interpretations. Was cool assistance for me and assisted me to ground myself.
I decided, Ok, here is the moment I come face to face with myself in self-honesty. Stop fearing me. Stop accepting self-abuse within the same thoughts in which I have denied and avoided for years. It’s cool that there is very little traffic where I live because, lol, I stood there in the middle the road, (which was actually very appropriate) and I became the thoughts as I accepted them within and as me breathing as I slightly wrapped my arms around myself, a physical sign for me that I was holding them within me. The difference was, this was My choice – Not my minds choice. I applied self-forgiveness where I could hear/here myself. I cannot say that there was some profound feeling and/or experience. There wasn’t.
However, I saw the thought pattern completely free from self-judgment and I saw how I had formed a relationship with the thought structure, and where I had made an assessment of and about myself – where I began in believing the assessment to be me and how I had accepted and allowed it. The only benefit in continuing to participate is completely egotistic and of self-interest. And when I participate, feelings of sorry and regret happen toward myself which further fuels the mindset keeping me within a pattern of seeking energy as attention in order to maintain the illusion of fulfilling myself = not real. When participating in thoughts, as well as the emotional feeling charges – there is never a consideration of all living beings here. I saw in self-honesty how the thoughts I was holding, is no longer who I accept and allow myself to be and become, and I let go of a part of me that was nothing more than a manifested mindfuck.
In the moment, I accepted and allowed myself to be and become who I am in this moment here in self-honesty through self-forgiveness as all as one as Equal. I will walk the proof of this for myself within and as self-corrective application as the directive principle of me within and as the support of me my physical body. Stopping self interest. To effectively Stand in Support of an Equal Money System – where all living beings are accepted and allowed to live a life in dignity. A cool walk. A Physical reminder of Equality.
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