The title of one of Bella’s video, ‘Visual Proof the Holy Spirit does not exist’ – reminded me of how I once thought I believed in the holy spirit and now I realise that what I really wanted was someone to come and fix a part of me that I wasn’t willing to face. I stood in more than one church with my hands raised and eyes closed in prayer, wanting the ‘holy spirit’ to speak through me so as to provide me with a feeling to keep an idea charged that I had accepted and allowed to be comforting. I knew plenty of people who spoke in tongues and I envied them for that, and I wondered how come god wouldn’t grant me the same favor. I now realise that the comfort I sought was nothing more than self-denial and greed, and it was all just me participating within and as my mind simply because, I was scared. I was scared to see what was really going on in this world. And, I was scared of facing myself within a world that quite frankly, is ugly. It was easier to look for the beauty within what is here because that provided my mind with entertainment, which provided me an escape from reality in a world that is crashing. It is just plain selfish to not see the many who are suffering in every moment that they breathe. It’s unacceptable to accept a god and/or a holy spirit to be real according to and as a belief within our mind. And that’s all it is… I no longer accept and allow beliefs of this to be who I am. To do so is an abdication against ourself here as all as one as equal as life. It doesn’t matter how you work it out within your mind because, it’s just not real. Who would want to worship a god who would accept and allow all the atrocity that exists here to continue anyway? It’s easy to see what’s real when one becomes willing in self-honesty to face the aggressions of self. Self-forgiveness then becomes how one is able to begin to release the nonsense and stand equal and one in support of an Equal Money System – which is the solution that will give all the opportunity to live a life of dignity while supporting self in self-honesty to bring forth heaven on earth.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to depend on an entity of my mind as a tool of self-support.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from self control.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be easily manipulated by knowledge and information of the mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be entertained and distracted by my mind – instead of facing myself here in self-honesty.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to define self control separate from me.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to live and apply self control in every moment.
I forgive myself that I hadn’t allowed myself to realise that this existence is an example of the mind consciousness system in control of the mind/brain.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to think and believe I am inferior to the mind – instead I stand and direct me here within the principle of equality.
I am my directive principle – not the mind.
Thank you Bella for your video