I just finished writing self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements for a mind construct where I had identified points of self manipulation and self victimization just to name a few. I had one left to finish, and decided to vacuum the house first, as I had been sitting for awhile. As I’m pushing the vacuum cleaner back and forth – I realised a point of self-dishonesty. The act of physically and willfully moving myself within and as my reality must be in accordance to questions I ask myself. Questions like, will my movement of self-willed action be according to and as ‘what’s best for all in all ways’? Now, obviously common sense is required because, vacuuming my house benefits all who walk and coexist here with me. However, my most recent video, where I’m singing – was not a self-willed self-honest action. I knew this immediately this morning, but still was not clear within myself. No wonder it’s called morning (mourning), because before when I’ve faced similar points, where the mind approved of an action of myself the day before – then come morning, used it against me. Regret, shame and guilt, is always a sign of participating within and as dishonesty.
This is how that video came to be. I was sitting at my computer singing the song ‘Imagine’, when I heard Randy walk in the back door. I then froze up and stopped singing. I saw the point of fear and decided to face it by singing and uploading a video, thus pushing through the point of fear. I now realise that the very act of me doing so actually created for myself a time-loop of self manipulation and self victimization because, my actual starting point of making the video was while participating within and as the actual fear… And, I now recall a faint thought of my secret mind suggesting that I make the video, as well as a slight energetic positive feeling charge which is a clear indicator…twisted motherfucker…
I’m not implying that making a video to assist self isn’t or wouldn’t be effective, every decision must always be an individual decision in self-honesty. However, for me, in the moment of making the decision to make the video, I was actually accepting and allowing dishonesty.
I acted in accordance to, let’s say ‘false labor’. Because when we’re pushing ourselves through within self-corrective statements, applying ourselves, actually walking a birthing process of ourselves within and as the physical – it requires self-breathing – no thought participation. Becoming self-directive principle, and actually moving ourselves within and as ‘what’s best for all in all ways’ always begins first with self in self-honesty. Here now, I see clearly, where, when and how I accepted and allowed dishonesty, and so the video is/was irrelevant. I will leave the video as a clear flag point for myself to stop further participation and to remain standing within and as all as one as equal. It may also be effective for me to push the vacuum before I make further videos as self-assistance.
When and if I see myself experiencing myself within an energy pattern coming from self-manipulation within using a situation or an event or an act of self simulation within the mind to distract me within an energetic charge and/or feeling to somehow gain attention and/or seek recognition and/or to seek validation and/or to seek pity from others within a role of self-victimization within which I manipulate myself and others in order to gain validation as a way of self-manipulation – which keeps me from taking self-responsibility for myself here within and as breath as the physical – I Stop. I Breathe, and I do Not participate.
Instead I direct me here as breath within realising that I have experienced myself within this pattern playing out from beginning to end and I am placing this is as a flag point for self to see self in accepting and allowing self-manipulation and self victimization of a mind resonant pattern playing out within self justification and has no relevance as life here as me as the directive principle of self within and as self honesty within the Equality Equation of what is best for all in all ways. I stand in support of an ‘Equal Money System’ and ‘World Equality’.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become victimized by my own self manipulation techniques.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief a lifelong victimization role.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself through participation within thoughts of being more than another, I accepted and allowed myself to continue within a mind pattern of self abuse and self victimization.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act out according to the secret mind thoughts of and as ego.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed and created myself a time-loop – instead of standing in self-forgiveness and self-honesty as all as one as equal.
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