I have made a living from a life time of relationship commitments according to my emotions which were controlled according to my fear of survival. Not being able to buy ones own food or pay our rent has a way of causing a person to accept abuse of self in order to survive within the ‘Current Money System’. I didn’t realize then, the control money had on me. If I hadn’t been so distracted within my fear of survival, I may have considered the possibility of how I was being influenced.
I was newly single with a one year old baby and I had only myself to depend upon. By the time I paid for daycare, I had enough left for rent and utilities and hardly anything left for groceries. I sought assistance from the state but, they told me I made to much money. I didn’t understand the states reasoning but there’s no reasoning with them. They have set rules and regulations and no common sense of all life equally. I didn’t have a car payment or any extra bills or frivolous spending. Just the basics requirements to survive.
I began dating this guy who had his own business and he did alright in it, so once in awhile he would give me $30 or $40 dollars to put gas in my car and he benefited from that because, when we ‘got together’, it was at his place when I had a sitter, and he lived a ways out of town. So his giving was not without receiving. The way relationship patterns are within this world, it wasn’t long before the energetic outflows that began the relationship ran out, and my thoughts about him changed over time so I ended the relationship, that really wasn’t anything real in the first place. It’s easy to see now how money has always been a motivating factor within every relationship I’ve ever had, I’d be lying if I said different. After I broke up the guy and hadn’t seen him for a couple of months, I had to call him because, I had missed work when my baby was sick and so I was short $100 for my rent…
I didn’t call and just ask for money because this guy just didn’t offer money assistance. So, I played it up because, I knew he hadn’t wanted to break up and I knew from him still calling and calling, (I wasn’t answering) that I could probably go visit him and just see what happened.
It’s easy to know the ending to the story here because people prostitute themselves in the name of money every day in one way or another. If people were just self-honest with themselves, they would see how they participate in being prostituted by money…
It was a simple plan I followed through with and I didn’t even have to ask for the money, but, services were rendered. After we had sex, I started crying crocodile tears which led him to ask what was wrong, so I told him the truth, that I needed $100 by tomorrow morning or I would be evicted.. He reached into his trousers and pulled out a $100 and said ‘here, please take this’. I said thank you, but I have to leave now to pick up my daughter, and he said, ‘that’s cool, see you tomorrow’. I left as fast as I could and I remember as I drove home realizing that I had just became a prostitute. What I didn’t realize then that I realize now is that, ‘Our Current Money System’ pimps us all out daily, and we accept and allow it. I may have only married once instead of three times, or maybe not at all, if it hadn’t been for money. It makes so much sense to support and ‘Equal Money System’. Where everyone, from birth til death would be provided for. No more prostituting ourselves just to feed and clothe ourself and our children.
If there had been an ‘Equal Money System’ in place when I was single, I wouldn’t have fucked quite as often. Or at the very least, when I did fuck, it would have been because I wanted to, not because I had to…
So listen up all you single mom’s and/or any woman out there who has had Enough! Come Join Us in Support of Equal Money and become willing and able to Support Yourself in Self-Honesty with an Equal Money System…
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that in being a slave to money the money will become the slavery within and as this world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach shame to money.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to money.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be manipulated by money in order to feed my child and to survive in this world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as inferior to the current money system.
Support an Equal Money System
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to set myself free from money.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define money as mine where I transformed money into a possession in which I feared losing.
Be sure and read Jozien’s blog response. thanks Jozien