Childhood Fears Manifested As Me

Today we watched the movie ‘Shutter Island’, and although I had heard Sunette’s review of the movie; Shutter Island – The Death of Fear: (see video and link below), I had never seen it.  The movie really is a great depiction of unresolved past trauma and points of fear that we exist as within and as our mind.  Sunette shares – how the movie begins with the scene where the main character is throwing up and nauseous and how in terms of process nausea is a manifestation of and as petrifaction as extreme extensive fear which indicates the main characters point of facing a fear. The points of fears that we each one face are of our own mind as the mind consciousness systems.  I highly recommend hearing Sunette’s review on this movie as it is quite assisting.

My experience when watching this movie was realizing how we manifest powerful relationships within our points of fear that we exist as and live as daily within points of fears in which we’ve often had our entire lives, yet we continue to exist as and manifest more fear instead of facing ourself within and as them and releasing them through self forgiveness.

My first fears was that of fearing the dark as a child and I feared it to such an extent that I would literally see things in the dark. Such as aliens or ghosts and they would always just be standing there staring at me which would scare the hell out of me. I would scream for my mom to come see, but as she would turn on the light the ghostly figures of the darkness would disappear and of course she could not see them.  Then I would get in trouble for waking her and my step dad up for such nonsense as she called it. I remember wanting to tell her that I had just woke up from sleep and there they were so what was I suppose to do except call for my mom to come and assist me.  I never said that to her though because she was always to angry to hear me because I awoke them often.

I realize now how my fears manifested forth my insecurities and self doubt towards myself which ultimately led me to the point of settling within myself as becoming less than the fears of my mind.  My fears of the dark ruled me in the daytime to as I would worry and fear what my experiences would become as night would fall.  I see how this is how I began to hide from myself within the fears of my mind always trying to escape my mind, all the while being directed as it.  I continued this course throughout my childhood and have very few memories of anything except that of fears.

There was fear of abandonment and fear of loss and death and my mind controlled my every move and I feared being alone yet lonely was all I ever experienced as a child.  When my mind stopped providing me with adequate make belief then I resorted to physical actions which caused my parents to disapprove of me which always lead me back to the place in my mind where I did not trust, yet had I had no idea how to direct myself to stop.  So I would then isolate myself from my world and see myself as less than everything and everyone.

The truth is my mind controlled me through fear tactics as a child and into adulthood I accepted and allowed it.  My whole life I existed as and acted according to the fears of my mind which ultimately were never real, but they were as real as I was and I was less than my mind because it ruled me.
Then in November of 2007 –  I discovered a website called Desteni Universe and this is when I finally began facing my fears and assisting myself to stop existing as them.  Even then I feared dark roads at night as well as I feared myself within all that I had accepted and allowed myself to be and become.

The tools that Desteni offers – assisted me to apply self forgiveness and to in self honesty begin to direct myself equal and one as my mind.  About 4 months ago – I took a stroll down the dark country road right outside my home by myself around 2 am in the morning and realized for myself the effectiveness of self forgiveness in that my fear of the dark has stopped.

I am now effectively living and walking self forgiveness in self honesty and standing within the Principle of Equality – To assist this world in bringing forth an ‘Equal Money System’ and ‘World Equality’ – To once and for all Stop the atrocities that exist within and as this world that I have participated in creating.  All Life deserves to live in dignity – free from fear of survival -existing as one as who we really are as all as one as Equal.


3 thoughts on “Childhood Fears Manifested As Me

  1. Cool Cathy – I can’t remember ever watching Shutter Island but I will watch Sunettes video anyway 🙂

    Children’s fear: last night I let my arm hang down from my bed towards the floor and immediately the fear-thought was there that haunted me when a child: what if there is this monster-witch under my bed, grabbing my arm…

    It still has not lost all of his spell, this fear-thought 🙂

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