It was a quiet day today within myself and without and I only noticed brief thoughts within me with regards to me questioning my effectiveness in walking my process. It’s interesting how my mind will actually question and attempt to tell me that I am failing in walking my process. I immediately stop the thoughts, apply self-forgiveness and focus myself in breathing. This is my ‘secret mind’ attempting to use my process against me and I do not allow it. The mind will use any form of manipulation as a distraction and in the past I have fell for this form of self-trickery. I realize myself more clearly within self-trust in what I have been walking and released in self-forgiveness and so the thoughts are easier seen and stopped.
I have been studying to take my GED test and am pushing through some resistance within the fear of actually taking the test. I took a practice test online and was surprised in that if this had been the real test I only lacked 360 points to pass. The algebra part of the test is what I fear the most because I have never taken algebra before so much studying required in this area. It was very cool to realize how assisting all the reading that I have done with the Desteni material has assisted me in improving my common sense comprehension skills in regards to problem solving. I really saw the difference in myself when taking the pretest and how effective my reading skills have become. I admit I was rather surprised. After completing my GED, I want to begin taking classes that will assist me to acquire a job counseling teens or something similar. I am not completely exact in the area that will be the most appropriate for me and am taking this moment by moment. The biggest obstacle that has prevented me from furthering my education has been not having my diploma so this is where my focus is. It is easy to see how my lack of self-trust is contributed to within not having my diploma and this just seems crazy but has been a belief that I accepted and allowed about myself.
What I am realizing more and more in walking self-forgiveness application is how capable I am in determining things for myself and that I am no longer depending upon beliefs of others to determine who I am and what I am willing to accept and allow within myself and within my world. Knowledge and information is useless unless I incorporate it within me as who I am within the principles within which I stand. I now stand as the directive principle of me and I determine in self-honesty in every moment of breath who I am, and I stop accepting and allowing anything of myself that is not what is best for all. Every single moment of breath offers me the opportunity to see and direct myself according to the Principle of Equality and I will not settle for anything less of myself or others than that of Equality for all as one.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to forfeit who I am according to others beliefs of me and I stand within the realization that I am capable of directing me equal to all here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as a failure for not completing high school nor receiving my diploma and I now stand within the correction of myself within realizing that I am capable of directing me as all as one as equal.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to exist as inferior to knowledge and information instead of realizing that all that is here is me and within this I become the directive principle according to the equality equation.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to exist as ego as a false misrepresentation of who I really am and I stand in realizing that as long as I am breathing it is never to late to direct myself in self-honesty equal to all here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold myself back in fear that I am not able to handle solving the equation of myself instead of realizing that the equality equation refers to all life here equal and one to each other in all ways.