I Forgive Myself That I Have Allowed Myself

To expand further for myself the point of accepting and allowing myself to exist within and as an energetic resonant pattern within which I participated – I Stop. I Breathe. I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to exist as this energetic resonance. Instead of breathing and slowing myself in letting this energetic outflow move through me while not becoming it – but instead stopping and applying myself in self-honesty.

After verifying through SRA tools and muscle communication – I am able to establish and identify the Memory-Construct point -in relation to the Memory-Construct of the Unconscious-Mind in which was activated shortly after I made a decision to immediately begin studying to take the GED test to receive my high school diploma.

Muscle communication confirmed the Memory-Construct Point: That being – me going back to school and furthering my education.

Within, during and as my participation as this manifested resonant memory-construct pattern – I, ‘acting’ within and as the energetically charged ‘Memory-Hold’ within the Reason/Purpose for the construct being that of: Memory-Hold of wanting to: Excite / Re-Live (confirmed with muscle communication).

Early this past Sunday morning, after investigating this point for a while, like where and what and how to begin studying in order to be prepared to pass the GED test. (It has been 33years since the year I was suppose to graduate, which was 1977 -I became pregnant and married at 16, and at 17 birthed my son, Jason and never went back to complete my education and receive my high school diploma).

So, when I told Randy about my decision, because up until this point, I had not spoke of me investigating this point, nor that I was considering signing up for free online course that will assist me in studying specifics of the test material. When I shared my plans with Randy, I noticed him give me a ‘suspicious’ look, and I recall that I interpreted the ‘look’ as one of ‘disapproval’. I recall seeing a flash of a picture/image within my mind of Randy with the same expression on his face as I was seeing in that moment and it occurred as fast as a flash of lightening would appear. Also, I had a single thought of – ‘I wonder if he feels threatened by me making this decision’. I forgave myself out loud, in that moment for both the picture and the thought and that was pretty much the end of it – or, so I ‘thought’. Instead of me facing and investigating the point further, I simply ignored it.

My previous plans for the day were to apply myself in studying for the GED test and I did study for about an hour and then, ‘suddenly’ had this ‘urge’ to drive to a favorite spot of mine that requires driving a road called -frog rock road. At this point was when I considered how cool it would be to take the camera and film my trip – and so I did. It is easy now for me to see the point of where this energetic resonance began and how I used self manipulation to carry this point in the starting point of self-dishonesty when making the video I made. I see that I justified my want, need and desire of attention and to feel special – and within that, lost myself in the direction my mind led me instead of me directing me within the principle of Equality.

Till here no further

I forgive myself that I have allowed this of myself and I stop and recognize a flag point within which to remind me that I have already experienced this and there is no value to this participation, except consequences. I stop, I breathe and let go of the comparison thoughts – and participate equally.

I forgive myself that I have allowed a personality design to direct me as who I am instead of me standing diligently in self-honesty until equal money for All becomes One.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to become possessed within the desire to be seen as special instead of realizing that this is a mind pattern construct infused from my past fears of being abandoned by mother and father.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to – when I become angry at myself I have a hard time within forgiving myself. I no longer accept this as who I am.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to feel fearful.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to judge every part of myself from my head to my toes.

I forgive myself that I have allowed a personality design to direct me as who I am instead of me standing diligently in self-honesty until equal money for All becomes One.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to form a belief pattern construct within myself of myself as less than others. When and as I see myself participating within this pattern of Self defeat. I stop and I breathe. Within this I realize that the energy of this experience is directing me and I am not the directive force here. Thus I stop this participation in this energy as self defeating thoughts and
do not participate, but breathe myself here in and as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to exist as myself experience of when I was a little girl in school and was bullied and wherein I always ‘felt’ left out and ‘unloved’, instead of now realising that real love does not exist within this world.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to remain within the preprogrammed design of when I was small and would imagine that if I ran away or died that I would not be missed.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to interpret my existence here as me when I was a little girl sitting alone in my room wondering why my mom and dad didn’t love me.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to want to run away and hide within the feelings of fear and loneliness. I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to spite myself.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to always think I’m weird.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to exist in self-pity.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to ‘feel’ sorry for myself.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to project self-pity and animosity upon others.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to manipulate others as a way of avoiding facing myself.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to exist as ‘catty’ or in ‘spite’ towards myself, and then accepting and allowing myself to project it onto another within the disguise of ‘trying’ to be funny or clever instead of directing myself to stop the anger towards self and to in self-honesty and self-forgiveness stand within the principle of equality.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to fear dark roads at night.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to form a belief pattern construct within myself, of myself as less than others.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to compare myself to others just like I compared myself to other kids when I was little in grade school.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to exist as myself experience of when I was a little girl in school and was bullied and wherein I always ‘felt’ left out and ‘unloved’, instead of now realising that real love does not exist within this world.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to remain within the preprogrammed design of when I was small and would imagine that if I ran away or died that I would not be missed.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to interpret my existence here as me when I was a little girl sitting alone in my room wondering why my mom and dad didn’t love me.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to want to run away and hide within the feelings of fear and loneliness.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to spite myself.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to always think I’m weird and will never fit in.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to exist in self-pity. I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to ‘feel’ sorry for myself.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to project self-pity and animosity upon others.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to manipulate others as a way of avoiding facing myself.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to exist as ‘catty’ or in ‘spite’ towards myself, and then accepting and allowing myself to project it onto another within the disguise of ‘trying’ to be funny or clever instead of directing myself to stop the anger towards self and to in self-honesty and self-forgiveness stand within the principle of equality.
Cathy

Advertisements

One thought on “I Forgive Myself That I Have Allowed Myself

  1. Interesing to see what everything has been behind a simple Frog Road video. Thanks for sharing Cathy!

Comments are closed.