Day 208: Invisible Battles

Problem:

I had a dream last night where I saw myself jumping between roof tops, fighting battles. In battle, I fought with people who seemed familiar, yet were unfamiliar, and the only weapons in the dream were SWORDS.

No real harm to anyone ever occurred no matter how hard we fought and there were no expression of emotions, energy or fears. Everything appeared to be staged in order for us to see for ourselves that life is Not meant to be lived fighting each other to survive – ultimately leading us to at the end of the day – we remain alone with our inner invisible battles, where we compete only with ourself as we try to reach a place of feel better within and as our mind that isn’t real and can never ever be reached.

Solution:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as a character of and as my mind as someone who is never good enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fight seemingly invisible battles within my mind and body in trying to keep my emotions ‘at bay’ according to a self-created knowledge of myself and in doing so not realizing how I manifest pockets of pain and dysfunction in bringing the words that I speak to life within and as me as my physical flesh/ bones/body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fight invisible battles within and as my mind using thoughts, feelings, emotions and words as a way of remaining in defense mode where I stage imaginary attacks against myself and others as myself creating inner resistance giving myself a false sense of protection through positive and negative energetic experiences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear ‘letting down the guards’ so to speak, which I’ve used to keep myself trapped within and as my mind as the emotional feelings of fear, where I silence myself in fear of my own self-expression, therefore, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself through ego/self-interest by way of comparing myself to others and using inferiority and superiority as energetic motivators to suppress myself deeper into self-abusive patterns.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the thought/picture within my mind where I see myself as being to dumb to stand and take self-responsibility for who I am and for what I have accepted and allowed to exist within our current world/money system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to cower down to back chat and internal conversations, telling myself that I’m not smart enough and as such I might as well shut up and give up on myself and the world/money system as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be disappointed in myself for wanting to give up on myself and my process because I see, realize and understand that feeling disappointed is actually me justifying my own self-interested behaviors.

When and as I become aware of back chat and internal conversations within my mind telling myself that I’m not smart enough and/or that I should just ‘shut up and give up’ – I Stop, I Breathe. I see, realize and understand that this is a pattern within my mind that I have accepted and allowed myself to resort to because the truth is I have accepted and allowed a pattern of fear of change within the pattern/character of not being good enough - fear of giving up the comforting, numbed down life style of distractions/entertainment – to instead direct myself to educate myself about our world/money system.

When and as I see myself pull inward into and as my mind where I fight invisible battles, where I begin to doubt who I am as I continue to walk this Journey to Life, I stop, I breathe. I see, realize and understand that the doubt is actually self-interest talking, therefore, I commit myself to embracing myself in tender-loving-care, giving myself permission to stop and focus on this moment of breath – where there is no right or wrong, only me directing myself according to what’s best for all.

Reward:

I commit myself to remain aware of my behavior to stop the pattern of accepting and allowing myself to become a character of and as my mind as someone who is never good enough.

I commit myself to stop fighting invisible battles within and as my mind using preprogrammed thoughts, feelings, emotions and energetic experiences as a way of remaining in/as defense mode.

I commit myself to stop giving in to self-manipulation and self-doubt.

I commit myself to walk the self-corrective application of redesigning who I am, standing stable and self-responsible, to redesign myself free from self-abusive and self-destructive patterns

I commit myself to Stop my programmed belief system and to see, realize and understand how what I’ve believed of my life – as that of being comforting – is actually the result of massive funding by our current world/money systems, therefore, I commit myself to further research and educate myself, to ultimately expose the role that money plays in producing, through education and media, as well as thousands of other ways of manipulation, the kind of people we as the human on earth have become.

**UPDATE: When I wrote this blog, I hadn’t yet read the daily blog posted by Heaven’s Journey to Life titled: Why do we Give Up BEFORE we Even Started?: DAY 321, now having read it, I suggest one to read it to assist with further clarity with regards to Facing Uncertainty.  The same applies to the blog written yesterday by Creation’s Journey to Life titled: Day 324: What Characterize a Demon? (Part One), specifically regarding the following quote:

“Taking the Example of ‘Feeling Not Good Enough’ – this would Start as an Emotion, internalized, and then the Emotion will start ‘defining itself’ into and as Thoughts that manifest, and the thoughts would cycle, repetitively in the Mind and so generate the emotion; and with self’s participation in and as it – would ‘Characterize’ self into and as the ‘who I am’ and believe SELF to be the characterized emotion as Thoughts as ‘I’M Not Good Enough’. When, all the while: the ‘Not Good Enough’ was simply an emotional energy-program, that self characterized into and as a ‘who I am’. Then, from the internal creation and design of the Emotion into a Character, through and as Thought – one will eventually start Speaking and Living it ‘as Self’ and so BECOME the Character of the Emotion as ‘Not Good Enough’; and in this Process – self become ‘Lost’ in/as Energy, Emotion and the Characterization thereof that we create through Thought.” Bernard Poolman 

Day 139: DIY Self-Commitment

For Context Please Read: Day 138: I Don’t Want To Grow Up – -

I commit myself to Stop the fear of aging and the fear of death and I commit myself to prove to myself what I’ve already begun to realize in that, who I am, is determined within every moment of breath.

I commit myself to show that growing up is Not something that should be easy or hard or compromising self in any way, nor is growing up about holding on to things that were, or wondering about what’s to come, instead growing up is about investigating the perceptions within and as our mind that we’ve spent our entire lives in fear of, thus, I commit myself to show that life is not about living like we are dying and then manifesting it as so – NO – Life is a Journey of forgiving and directing ourself in self-honesty in realizing that we do NOT have to fear ourself as our Mind or each other, and, we don’t have to fear getting older and/or hating each other and, we can Stop our fear of dying without having actually known who we are as Life,,,thus, We Breathe, and we Forgive Ourself for who we believed ourselves to be as our Mind of/as CONSCIOUSNESS, and We Direct who we are as Life Living what it is to Give to All as we’d like to Receive.

I commit myself to stop existing within polarity equations of positive/negative, right/wrong, happy/sad and/or pretty/ugly, because I see, realize and understand that in doing so I am actually abdicating myself from life through living in fear of me as my mind as thoughts and through participating in and as them fueling emotions, feelings and fear, therefore, I commit myself to direct me as my mind in self-honesty and through self-corrective application, stop participation of/as thoughts, and instead, Breathe and Walk.

Furthermore, I commit myself to redefine who I am as self-responsibility as I walk breath by breath becoming a living application of responsibility, where through self-forgiveness, I gift myself the ability to consider what life will become when as a GROUP, we come together to support a World according to what’s best for All – to bring an end to fear and the constant struggle to survive within our current world/money system, to thus, together show ourselves how in Giving to all that which we each require as the basic necessities for life, we realize ourselves as living expressions of and as what is to Stand accountable and responsible for and as All living beings.

Do It Your Self-Commitment

JOIN US

Stand Up for and as All Life – Support a World/Money System that will support All Life Equally.

Day 138: I Don’t Want To Grow Up

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define aging with ‘growing up’ and accepting myself as someone I’ve never wanted to be because all the grown-ups I’ve ever known who grew older became saggy, scary, grumpy and settled in as being sad, lonely and dying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear growing up, getting old and losing all of my teeth, because within my mind I have believed in the perception that loosing one’s teeth makes a woman ugly, old and undesirable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear growing up because that meant being responsible and the only example of responsibility I was familiar with meant worrying about not having enough money and working oneself to death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I feared growing up because I feared getting old, wrinkly and invisible and undesirable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how according to a picture as a thought within my mind growing old and aging looks like a small toothless woman whose eyes are sad and face is sunken in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how within my mind I have defined myself according to a picture presentation of myself looking the same as I did when I was in my twenties.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that in my fear of growing old I have spent my life fighting for the right to be happy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that life is only about me and my happiness to such a degree that I’ve never considered what Life Really is.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how when I was younger I lived my life according to the energetic high I got off on in how men would react to/toward me, in how I received attention from them and within that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am immune to growing old, to aging.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I fear growing old because I fear death of me as my physical body.

to be continued…

Day 137: Can’t Touch This

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how I have depended upon and existed within and as expectations, wherein I expect others to validate me as being ‘important’ so that I will thus then have an experience of myself accordingly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have built up so much hope to have specific experiences of myself as ‘something more than’ who I perceive myself to be that when I don’t experience that which I expect, desire and/or wish to experience, I would then ‘feel’ a deep inner disappointment which felt like within my physical body, that I was carrying the weight of the world around within and as me, therefore, I commit myself to stop expecting, desiring and/or wishing to experience myself according to something and/or someone outside of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how within and as a character of/as my mind I have existed as a spectator of sorts, waiting to be fulfilled and how within that I have experienced myself within negative energy picture/thoughts of how I could have and should have been a better mother/wife/person, thus, I commit myself to stop existing as a character of/as my mind who acts as the role of a spectator within and as negative energy experiences, and to instead investigate who I am in self-honesty to practically walk the path of self-corrective application according to and in support of/for that which is best for All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become a spectator and/or an observer of myself within my life where instead of participating and directing who I am as life, I have allowed me as my mind as consciousness to direct me to such a degree that I feel as if I have often become a spectacle of my own disappointment, thus I Stop. I see, realize and understand that through self-forgiveness I am able to gift to myself the courage and will to in self-honesty redesign and direct myself to change the inner me and thus change the outer me to walk in support of and as all as one as equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how living within and as expectations, I have built an invisible wall of resistance and suppression around myself where I have separated myself from myself as my physical body and from my physical reality wherein my physical expression has become one of ‘can’t touch this’, therefore, I commit myself to never stop walking this process of self-forgiveness because I see, realize and understand how one is able to change self to practically become a physical living expression of and as responsibility for and as all living beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to physically experience nausea within and as a remembrance of some lost bliss that I only recognize according to a belief within and as my mind as something that I now see, realize and understand can never be reproduced as something physical, tangible and/or real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience episodes of extreme sadness within ‘feeling’ unfulfilled in realizing that most people care very little about how others experience themselves, thus I commit myself to stop feelings of sadness and unfulfillment, and to show how we each one have the ability to realize/be our own fulfillment within and without to thus stand equal to and one as All Life according to what’s best for All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to chase after myself in time only never really seeing who I am within my own chase because that which I perceived to have seen in others has in fact been myself, as that which I have existed within and as, thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how within my hope to receive fulfillment from others, what I failed to see in my disappointment is that it must be that way, because our reality is showing us that that which exists outside of ourselves cannot and will not fulfill us as who we are until we All stand together as Equals, thus I commit myself to continue walking our Desteni, always, through and as the ‘Principle of Equality‘

Day 113: Sister Act

Sometimes, I miss my brother and sister. It’s been almost a year since my sister died and, my brother died almost 6 months after her. They were all that was left of my immediate “blood” family, and, within my mind, I perceived them as being the only remaining connection to/of my mom – who died 10 years ago. So, within this character of myself, as the “sister”, I feel sad and lonely. The strange thing is, within the feelings of sadness and loneliness, is an odd sort of comfort. How the hell is it that sadness and loneliness “feels” comforting? When I stop and breathe and look at how I experience myself within the “missing feeling”, I see that it’s not really about “missing them” as much as it’s about the character of my mind that is still existent within and as me as memories/thoughts/feelings and emotions – me as the ‘sister act character’ – is missing the conformation, the fueling of it’s existence. –

I forgive myself for not realizing how throughout my childhood years I was unconsciously/unaware of how I was creating, constructing and evolving into and as who I am and how and what I will live as my mind in the physical with the purpose/reason for my existence to be that of preparing myself to live out characters/memories of and as my mind as for example, the character of the sister act.

I forgive myself for not realizing that as the sister act character/memory I enjoyed what I now see, realize and understand was a false sense of trusting myself in/as the ‘act of being a sister’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hang onto the definition of myself that I’ve believed myself to be as that of/as a ‘good sister‘.

I forgive myself for not realizing that as the sister act character I believed myself as special.

I forgive myself for not realizing that as the sister act character I saw myself as ‘better than’ my sister and brother through comparison.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself in/as ‘being better than’ as the polarity opposite of ‘not good enough’ to exist within and as me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within judgment towards myself as ‘being better than’ my family, sister and brother, through seeing myself through the eyes of family through/as comparison thus, judging myself as being ‘better than’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to/as the character of/as the sister act as perceive myself as special because I was the oldest, thus, I perceived myself as holding some sort of power and/or control over my siblings which I took advantage of through how I judged, blamed and criticized them when they didn’t ‘act’ the way I ‘thought’ they should.

I forgive myself for not realizing how the year before their deaths – I avoided them because I didn’t want to face my responsibility in how I saw myself within the fear I perceived them to both exist as.

I forgive myself for not realizing that in the act of being a sister was the act of competing for the love of our parents and/or attempting to get all of our parents attention.

I forgive myself for not realizing that as the ‘sister act character’, I long for the act of competing with my brother and sister for the attention and love from our parents.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how I’ve used relationships whether they were family and/or friends to further bring to life the characters I’ve existed within and as and of my mind in the physical, in order to materialize/manifest my own personal wants, needs and desires – wherein self-interest I have always put myself as my mind first and to hell with the effects of how in doing so I’ve caused illness and disease within and as me as my physical body and this physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately participate in/as the sister act character in order to experience myself within a false sense of comfort that served only me according to what I wanted and desired as me as my mind of/as consciousness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to access and participate within what I now see, realize and understand was a ‘live memory’ which manifest in/as our mind in detail wherein the ‘live memory’ is possible due to the mind-physical integration, where within my mind I experienced a real time remembrance in/as a memory of my sister/brother and my mom – which further fueled how I was experiencing myself within and as the sister act character and within that memory activated a sub-character of/as the guilty character.

I commit myself to stop me as the character/memory/thought and emotional feeling of/as the sister act through breathing in/as self-corrective application.

When and as I see myself go into the sister act within feelings of comfort and within emotions of fear, I stop. I see, realize and understand that the memories/thoughts/feelings and emotions are set up within my mind as polarity equations of good/bad and positive and negative and are an outflow of emotional/feeling body energies and memories of which I’ve existed as within my mind as the mind of/as my parents. Thus, through self-corrective applicaton I breathe and stop All participation.

I commit myself to show how what we perceive as love between siblings is actually only memories/characters/personality suits that separate us from ourselves and life itself through self-interest and competition, and how in the name of love we keep characters alive that we live out in/as role-play in order to Not see, realize and understand that we are in-fact responsible not only for ourselves, but for All living beings and that we are here to stop who we are in/as fear and to stand up and become accountable to and as All life in supporting a world according to what’s best for All.

I commit myself to show the extent to which we’ve been unaware within and throughout our accepted and allowed abdication of responsibility, in how we have lived as who we are as a Mind Consciousness System in using and abusing our physical body/reality and existence instead of coming together in Equality and Oneness as the directive principle of ourselves as our physical body and taking responsibility within and as everything and all of ourselves here in supporting all life according to what’s best for All.

(Please read Heaven’s Blog with regards to: Sub-Character Creation – Part 1 (Self-Forgiveness): DAY 113)

Day 101: The Character: ‘I said No’

Today I watched from a distance as a mother was telling her 11 month old child, ‘I said No’, over and over in a very stern tone. I saw within myself how I had a reaction to her which is not surprising because when I was raising my children, I acted as the same. A character as a mother who automatically repeats, ‘No’, and/or ‘I said No’. I am now comprehending how ignorant the whole point of telling our young children ‘No’, really is. That’s not to imply that children don’t require direction so that they don’t get in harms way, however, yelling ‘No’ at children and/or spanking them, I now see is Not the solution. Thus, sharing here the following self-forgiveness.

For further context and understanding, please read the following article and blogs.
Feral girl, 5, found living with a herd of cows can ‘only communicate by mooing’
Sacrificial Love of the Mother: DAY 48
Parenting Building a Child’s Character: DAY 85
Day 107: The Ignorance of Intent

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as a mother become the character who ‘automatically’ says ‘No’ to my children without even considering and/or questioning my automated response in the act of saying no.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stop and look within myself when I hear myself tell my child No, because if I were to look within myself then I will see that to just automatically say No is to abdicate responsibility to/for/as my child – where I completely miss-take an opportunity to assist them to touch, investigate, question and enjoy who they/we are so as to determine for themselves who they will be within and as a part of this physical world/reality/existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how I am a living mirror of my mother as she was hers and as my child will be mine – in how for generation after generation we’ve existed where each child is/has been conditioned through/as their parents mind into and as one’s own mind – thus we are continuing to exist within and as the same memories/characters/personalities/thoughts and physical behaviors/habits and language as those before us to such a degree that we are/have become automated in our raising of our children and, thus have/are forfeiting the very nature of life itself because in doing so, we are voluntarily admitting defeat as a parent – instead of walking as a living example of what it is to be responsible, self-honest, stable and consistent as support for/as the child.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give in to the power of saying No because as a child, in/as my secret mind, exist a memory of how it looked and felt to see the face of my parent when they experienced the power and control of saying no, and thus, I now have an automated program running within me as my secret mind to also experience what I perceive that I must now experience as power and control in/as saying No.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not see, realize and understand how I have come be automated to say No to my children within a positive energy experience where I accumulate and manifest myself from the starting point of/as friction/conflict as a negative energy experience and thus within and through the nature and action of me as blame, and within and as spite, I will excuse and justify my actions as I deliberately manipulate my child in order to gain, possess and empower my love onto my child within and as a controlling positive energy experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that when I say No to my child I am in fact fueling the child’s mind within a negative energetic charge as an experience of the mind in/as curiosity, thus the child will activate their secret mind where they will look for the opportunity to reach for that which they were told Not to, and within that will experience guilt to/toward themselves because they remember they were told Not to touch it, thus, to tell the child no instead of assisting the child in touching and investigating their world, only further enslaves the child to becoming a character within their mind where they then isolate themselves from their physical world/reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world/money system where education is bought and paid for through memories/characters/personalities according to our past and history in/as money/survival, whereas we continue repeating cycles of abuse and neglect in which children of every generation continue to pay the pain forward – instead of standing up and stating what we know as true in that we require to Stop All systems within our world and begin again with a system which functions according to what’s best for All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be so involved in/as my own mind of seeking, wanting and desiring experiences for myself that I didn’t allow each and every moment of breath with my child to count in assisting them to see for themselves what is acceptable and what is not within and as our physical world/reality/existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support a world/money system where parents struggle to put food on the table and within that fail to educate and prepare children to become responsible adults who are willing and able to stand up for and as All living beings as equals.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how the role of money and struggling to survive within this world plays a major role in the life of being a parent, because I see how I was always running to get somewhere but in the process I lost my breath and myself where I barely even remember my life with my children when they were small.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put money first above everything including my children, all the while lying to myself that money wasn’t important because I didn’t want to face my responsibility within how our current world/money system exists – I didn’t want to face how I have accepted and allowed myself and all life to live in hell enslaved to a money system where only the few who are rich are free from the constant fear of living paycheck to paycheck where we fear for the future of our children and our own survival.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within existing in/as memories/characters and personalities of/as acts of automation to/towards children, and my world – have abdicated myself as my physical body and this physical reality – meaning – I have given up my right of/as life because in such automated acts of/as self, I am proving that I don’t care enough to slow myself down and breathe myself here, to actually support myself as all as life – to investigate myself and our current world/money system and therefore support a system where No one suffers, No one starves to death, No one goes to war for the right of land over those who are already living on the land, and No one goes without a home and clean water, thus, I see, realize and understand the common sense in supporting an Equal Money System where I will know for sure that All living beings and our Earth, will be genuinely provided and cared for.

I commit myself to Stop myself as ignorant acts of saying No to children within automated acts of/as memories/characters and personalities, because I see, realize and understand how through breathing, writing and self-forgiveness one is able to correct, realign and redesign themselves, thus is able to assist and support a world/money/education system according to what’s best for All.

I commit myself to investigate and forgive the memories/characters of/as my parents mind as consciousness as the memories/characters which are me as my mind and to assist and support myself to show how our world requires an education system where children are able to receive the support required in order to experience life of/as Heaven on Earth.

I commit myself to show how our world requires an education system that will prepare each one of us to become a self-aware, responsible part of the human race that lives a fulfilled and productive life of happiness and fun and, how Equal Money will ensure that everybody will be effectively educated to live in harmony with everything here including, plants, animals and our environment.

I commit myself to assist parents to see for themselves that the word No is actually not even necessary within a world where one is aware of themselves as breath.

I commit myself to show how the only real solution in assisting ourselves is one that will assist All living beings, thus a living solution is that of an Equal Money System which will guarantee life support for All life forms of Life on/as Earth.

I commit myself to support me as my physical body, to comprehend how life here on earth is a living representation of how, who and what exists within the mind physical body of/as the human.

I commit myself to show how who we are as our physical bodies within our physical reality, is all that we can actually trust, thus, in supporting an Equal Money system, we’re supporting life in trusting that which is real, our physical body and our physical reality.

I commit myself to show how we can change the very fabric of our being and thus change our world by simply placing ourself in the shoes of others.

**A MUST READ: Day 35: Equal Money will Save the World**

Day 100: For Giving Way

Art by Kelly Posey-

This is blog 100 for me in my walking the Journey to Life, and I’m going to begin by sharing the following quote by Sunette Spies – which is a good start for me in sharing how this process of daily writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective/commitment statements have assisted me.

“This is important to see, cause I mean – this is what humanity is doing – apparently giving up on humanity/this world, but that’s not the real story – there’s OTHER THINGS they want to do with their lives than commit themselves to standing with/for all, fascinating that we got to the point where, we’d live in HELL in the HOPE for desires; instead of living the certainty of who self is and what self is walking for self as for all.” ~ Sunette Spies

That’s where I was before beginning the process of walking self-forgiveness. I had given up on myself and certainly on humanity and this world. And, Yes, there were ‘other things’ I ‘thought’ I wanted to do with my life and, I never actually considered committing myself to standing with/for all.

I had become a living example of someone living in their own created Hell in the Hope for and the Desires of having and getting, and getting, and getting, but, never ever satisfied. I had no clue what it really is to be self-responsible and self-accountable and I certainly didn’t have a clue what it meant, “To walk for self as for All.”

Walking this process, is something that I take very seriously and, I am gradually forgiving my way to walking responsibly and accountable and, beginning to comprehend what it really means to Stand as Self, Walking for Self, as for All. Within that, I see how in self-honesty, I am able to support and trust myself for the first time in my life and thus, I am becoming able to stand Equal As and for All.

We as a humanity, have a very long road, however, when we come together as one, and put self-interest and greed aside and support an Equal Money system – in that, we’ll be doing ouselves a huge favor because we’ll be for the first time ever, supporting who we are as our Physical Bodies and our Physical Reality – that which we’ve always abused and neglected, will thus be supported in every way.

Consider the fact that we’re all neighbors here on earth and we’re all we’ve got, so, we’ve got to support ourself through supporting others – to Stop what we’ve accepted and allowed as our current world/money system and come together as one Huge Group to peacefully support a system which operates according to what’s best for All.

In Common sense, we can see how self-responsibility and self-accountability is in the willingness to give to all as one wishes to receive, because in the giving is where the quality of living self as life exists.

It’s the Ultimate Solution. Join us, Writing, Forgiving, Walking and Supporting in/as the Journey to Life. You’ll see for yourself.

Day 96: I Commit Myself

Self-Commitment Statements for the following blogs:
Day 94: Establishing a Relationship – -
Day 95: Flesh – -

I commit myself to stop fearing pain within and as my physical body as I see, realize and understand that pain is here as me to assist me.

I commit myself to breathe through the resistance I’ve accepted and allowed to/towards the very existence of myself as my physical body.

I commit myself to breathe through the resistance I have to acknowledging the realness of myself as the flesh of me as my physical body.

I commit myself to embracing me as my physical body in/as self-intimacy.

I commit myself to stop the separation of me as my physical body as that which has been missing through how and what I’ve accepted and allowed of/as our world system of money through and as the mind of/as consciousness.

I commit myself to comprehending how pain in and as my physical body is here to support me in forgiving and releasing me from/as the memories/characters/personalities I’ve played from the inside out as who I’ve been, thus, to take self-responsibility for the creation of me from within myself to my outside self as our world/reality/existence.

I commit myself to investigating and communicating with me as my physical body where I am able to, in one moment of breath, see, realize and understand the exact assistance I require in order to support the physicality of who I am within and as my physical body and our physical reality.

I commit myself to stop myself as my mind from participating in and as emotions and feelings as internal reactions, to thus then stop manifesting and creating damage unto me as my physical body and our physical world/reality/existence.

I commit myself to walking this Journey to Life process in realizing that changing one thought and/or one personality of/as me as my mind as a consciousness system will not change me as my entire mind consciousness system, because, I see, realize and understand that in order to have effective real physical change requires self-commitment of consistent daily walking of writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application in order to change the entirety of my mind as a consciousness system in relation to my physical body within this physical world/reality/existence.

I commit myself to stop generating energy from within myself fueling the relationship between the mind and the physical – such as through believing in and participating in love/hate in/as feelings and emotions – thus, compromising my relationship to/as me as my physical body and our physical existence as a whole.

I commit myself to see, realize, understand and therefore show how the only way we’re going to actually change this earth, ourselves, our relationships and stop the direction of/as consciousness is through consistency within self-application as a substantial directive movement in manifesting individual standing within our mind-physical relationship every single day.

I commit myself to prepare myself to physically and mentally have the patience, the will, the courage and directive principle and absolute trust to stand as whatever point and decision is necessary to walk as the change required within and as our world/money system into alignment with the physical existence and humanity as a whole in coming together as a group to manifest a World according to what’s best for All.

(Please read Heaven’s Blog with regards to: Quantum Consciousness Programming in Childhood – Part 1: Day 99 and Quantum Consciousness Programming in Childhood – Part 2: Day 100)

(Please read Creation’s Blog: Day 74: Stopping the MIND IN THE FLESH – Part 1 and Day 76: Stopping the Mind in the Flesh – Part 2)

Day 95: Flesh

Continuation from Day 94: Establishing a Relationship – -

With still having a fever my flesh feels very warm and causes me to ask myself ‘what is it like to be the flesh of me as my physical body’ and, I realize, it’s not been easy, because I’ve been quite the abuser of and as it…

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have never considered what it’s like to be the flesh of me as my physical body because I’ve always existed through and as my mind where for my entire life I’ve existed looking down on myself within my mind with my head hanging in shame because of how and what I was accepting and allowing myself to participate in within the secrets of me as my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rarily use the word flesh because I’ve held an idea/definition of the word flesh within me in separation where I’ve associated the word flesh with cannibalism.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold an idea/definition of the word flesh as that of eating itself which is exactly how and what happens the more we become constructs as systems of/as our mind as consciousness, which integrates into and as our physical body/flesh/bone and completely takes over until eventually the physical body starts decaying as it eats away at itself in order to survive and thus how we age and die.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my mind as a weapon against me as my physical body/flesh and bone through participating in/as energetic charges of/as emotions and feelings from the starting point of self-interest, competition and desire of how I wanted to experience myself.

I forgive myself that have accepted and allowed me as my physical body to be directed from/as my mind as consciousness within the starting point of self-interest which has been purely result driven and not for the benefit of creating a world according to what’s best for All.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to always look for what is best for me as my mind without looking for what is best for me as my physical body and/or for what is best for Our Physical Reality according to what’s best for All.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to indulge in sadness and sorrow of and as my mind as memories/characters while never considering the effects upon my physical body as I would cloke myself in/as suits as sorrowful memories/characters within a dragging, sinking experience which accumulates, manifests and shapes me as my physical body accordingly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed me as my internal organs to exist in sorrow whereas pain as indigestion results from suppressing myself in/as the defense of anger in self isolation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never question and investigate how who I’ve been as my mind as memories/characters/personalities have manifested as pressure, pain and manifested consequences within and as my physical body,flesh and bone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not see, realize and understand the extent of how, what I physically experience within my physical body has actually manifested me into certain character/personality constructs of/as my mind which I alone have kept myself within through my participation in and as them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to develop certain memories/characters/personalities of/as my mind in relation to my relationships and in relation to my world where me as my physical body has shaped accordingly to said memory/character and personality relationships within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never actually realize the relationship between who I am within myself with regards to me as memories/characters/personalities and how I have utilized my physical body in relationship between my mind and my physical body to the extent of manifesting and creating ailments, illness, disease, discomfort and pain and in how they are produced according to who I am as my mind as consciousness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not see, realize and understand how the role of our current world/money system is to keep us enslaved to it through the struggle and pain of survival of which we support willingly through what we accept and allow in/as our participation and direction of our mind as consciousness as memories/characters/personalities which manifest and create physical consequences within and as our physical bodies and thus our physical reality/existence.

to be continued

(Please read Heaven’s Blog with regards to: Quantum Consciousness Programming in Childhood – Part 1: Day 99 and Quantum Consciousness Programming in Childhood – Part 2: Day 100)

(Please read Creation’s Blog: Day 74: Stopping the MIND IN THE FLESH – Part 1 and Day 76: Stopping the Mind in the Flesh – Part 2)

Day 90: BeHolden

Continuation of the following blogs:
Day 87: Feels so good, Hurts so bad – -
Day 88 – 89: BeLonging – -

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be indebted and/or beholden to/as our current world/money system where through relationship ties we compete against one another using jealousy, greed and money to WIN – as if life is a game.

I commit myself to educating myself in how memories create how we become in DEBT to ourselves and others according to/through Self-INTEREST, as the attention we give to the mind.

~ ~
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see, realize, and understand how my mother is my mirror and I am hers according to how for generation after generation we’ve existed where each child is/has been conditioned through/as their parents into our own alternate mind realities where we exist with absolutely no consideration for anything and/or anyone except that of pleasing ourself, in/as and through living as memories/personalities of/as our parents, which we accept/allow and create in/as our minds and then try and manifest them into and as our physical body/reality/world in/as self-interest/need/want/desire and greed.

I commit myself to stop existing within a character of guilt as a mother in fear, wherein I withdraw into myself as if there’s a ball of suppression/ burden within the pit of my stomach in regret and sorrow, in worrying about how my children will survive tomorrow thus, I stop. I breathe. I realize that to exist within guilt and fear is draining life from me as my physical body and, I am no longer willing to accept that, therefore, I direct myself and take self-responsibility and prove to myself who I am willing myself to be in support of a world according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to expose the polarity equation of love and hate and to stop placing value within illusions of feeling good according to memories/characters/ personalities, because I see, realize and understand that doing so completely forsakes our responsibilities to the children within our world who require that we as adults assist and support them in common sense – instead of feelings and emotions – to prepare them to take self-responsibility in order to lead the way in manifesting/creating a world/money system which will support All life according to what’s best for all.

When and as I see myself existing within a point of guilt and fear, where I see how I want to swoop in and ‘save’ my children through financial means and/or taking responsibility for them, in attempting to ‘fix’ their world so they’ll ‘feel’ better, I Stop. I Breathe. I see, realize and understand how the only way to support them is to support myself even if it means that they have to fall in order to stand because I see, realize and understand how ultimately the only solution that will ensure a world worthy of children is that of an Equal Money System and thus in supporting ourselves with Equal Money we’re supporting All.

I see, realize and understand how important it is to assist and support myself in walking this process of self-forgiveness, to be able to align myself with walking equal to and one with existence and to stop accepting and allowing guilt/fear/characters/personalities/thoughts/feelings and emotions to exist as me which has perpetuated the suffering, pain and consequences that is existent within this existence.

I commit myself to stop longing for belongings in order to provide an addition to myself as something pleasing in order to ‘feel’ as if I ‘belong’.

I commit myself to stop seeing my children as if they’re a box of objects of/for use as effects in order to show off, and/or to make me ‘feel’ better about myself simply because I don’t want to face me and the Mess I’ve accepted and allowed within this world/money system.

I commit myself to show that the only right a parent has is the right to take self-responsibility in supporting a world that guarantees No child goes without food, a home, clothes, clean water, an education and healthcare.

I commit myself to stop jealousy, self-interest and greed in realizing that to exist as such further fuels our mind as consciousness which keeps us enslaved to our current world/money system, thus I commit myself to show how in order to stop the pain and suffering that currently exists within our world, we must first stop, forgive and direct ourselves according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to show how our world requires an education system that will prepare each one of us to become a self-aware, responsible part of the human race that lives a fulfilled and productive life of happiness and fun and, how Equal Money will ensure that everybody will be effectively educated to live in harmony with everything here including, plants, animals and our environment.

I commit myself to support me as my physical body, to comprehend how life here on earth is a living representation of how, who and what exists within the mind-physical body of/as the human.

(Please read Heaven’s Blog with regards to:How a Child Learns from the Mother: DAY 96)