Day 170: Postponement is a Bitch

For Context Read:
Day 168: Incomplete as Postponement
Day 169: Incomplete as Postponement Part 2

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within and as the postponement character – which I began when I was a child – to accept and allow one thought/image which I followed and accepted as a sort of alternate reality within me, where I so much feared that I was missing out on something – because I wasn’t able to ‘do what I wanted to do’ which was play with my friends because of the chores my mom gave me to do – that within myself I accepted and allowed a pattern where I hurried through and did a half ass job just so I could get to doing ‘what I wanted to do’, and how within that self-accepted pattern I quickly became comfortable with myself as the postponement character, thus throughout my life I have hurried through specific tasks so that I could just ‘get done’ so I could go do what ‘I wanted to do’ and as that, I wasn’t aware of how I followed a thought/image further into and as my mind and imagined how long it would take for me to complete whatever task was ‘supposedly’ keeping me from doing ‘what I wanted to do’, and how I would imagine how the task and/or the ‘negative’ experience was going to play out and then within my mind, I would change up the whole scenario and imagine myself has having the complete opposite experience of myself, one that would create a positive energy feeling within me, and all the while I would be hurrying up to complete the task so that I could have a feel good experience which I had already played out within my mind, and within all that, I never realized that I was actually postponing who I am within every aspect of who I am and who I have become because not once did I take self-responsibility for myself and for who and how I exist as within abd as our current world/money system.

When and as I see myself becoming the postponement character where within my mind I am busy in thoughts and in my imagination seeing and comparing different ways and scenarios of how I may or may not experience myself as either positive or negative, I stop, I breathe.

I commit myself see, realize and understand that accepting and allowing myself to participate in thoughts/images and imagination where I create a positive and/or negative experience, is nothing more than me entertaining me as my mind with energy and thus, never actually existing here in awareness of me in/as breath practically, physically walking and contributing in any way within and as what is real here as my physical body and physical reality/world/existence.

I commit myself to stop who I have existed as as the postponement character because I see, realize and understand that I will remain exactly who I am as my mind until I make the decision to face myself and take self-responsibility for who and what I have become, as what i have existed as within, and thus have manifested as our outer world/reality/existence, thus, in order to change the abuse within and as our/my world/reality/existence, requires that I first change me within in and as self-honesty.

When and as I see myself becoming the postponement character where within my mind I’m reliving the memory where I’ve defined myself according to the words; ‘girls just wanna have fun’, I stop, I breathe – I see realize and understand that I have taken the idea of life as being and having fun to a level that is not only unrealistic but is actually the edge of insanity, insanity that can be witnessed throughout our world, where while we’re demanding to have our fun and existing in our self-absorbed mind/physical world, we completely ignore the massive amount of abuse and turmoil that thousands upon thousands of children/animals/people are living with daily – which puts a whole new perspective on how far we will go just so we can entertain ourselves as our mind no matter the extent of suffering all around us within and as our world/reality/existence.   I commit myself to stop.

Day 169: Incomplete as Postponement Part 2

Continuing from: Day 168: Incomplete as Postponement

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when I was a child, develop an idea within myself of what responsibility meant according to the negative experience I had of myself when I first attempted to be responsible and therefore, almost without my even knowing it, I accepted and allowed myself to define responsibility as something that meant ‘I have to work’, and/or that ‘I have to do something that I don’t want to do’, and within that I began to have fear swell up within me in my mind as an image where I would see my friends playing outside and having fun without me, and because I valued myself according to how many friends liked me, I seen responsibility as sort of a deal breaker. because ‘the chores’ that I had to do which were ‘my responsibility’, kept me from being part of the fun and interrupted my idea of what I needed to participate in so that ‘my friends’ would like me, thus, I developed a plan where with every chore my mom assigned for me, I would do just enough on the surface to make it appear like I had done the job thoroughly but if/when my mom looked closely, she would see that I hadn’t done the necessary deep cleaning and therefore my responsibility was incomplete thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue similar patterns throughout my life and thus have always postponed taking responsibility and have always left myself feeling incomplete because I’ve not been willing to slow myself down, breathe and give myself the chance to see into me.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to stop who I am in fear of and as postponement, where I have according to my past experience of when I was a child, feared that I was missing out on something by not being immediately available to do what “I wanted to do’ which was to play with my friends after school because I was made to do chores by my mom and how within that I developed a pattern of postponement which is how I avoid taking self-responsibility.

Thus, when and as I see myself hurrying to get done with something: for example; when I’m writing and applying self-forgiveness, I stop, I breathe – instead I see, realize and understand that this pattern of hurrying is a pattern that I began when I was a child, and one that I have continued, where for example, I take a negative experience of doing chores and distract myself within my imagination and create for myself a positive experience as a way of avoiding taking responsibility – responsibility for myself and this world as it currently exists within and as our money/world system – where abuse unto life is allowed in the name of profit and money.

I commit myself to see, realize and understand that my perception in fear of missing out on or losing out on something is actually me as my mind wanting to turn my perception of myself as having a negative experience into a positive experience so as to not have to take responsibility – which is not even actually real or relevant within the context of responsibility,  thus,  in allowing myself to hurry to complete what I’m doing, I am actually missing out on this moment of breath in seeing into me to see who I really am here as breath in self-honesty within the context of becoming willing to walk as life as me within this physical/world/reality/existence.

I commit myself to re-defining who I am when I’m not in a hurry, as who I am here breathing, and what responsibility is in relationship to who I am within this world/reality/existence.

to be continued

Day 168: Incomplete as Postponement

I’ve realized something about myself today in how I have accepted and allowed myself to be distracted when I’m writing and posting my blogs. Recently, I’ve been experiencing some physical pain and sitting in front of the computer seems to aggravate the pain and as a result, I’ve hurried through writing self-forgiveness and have ultimately screwed myself, because I’ve left myself feeling incomplete. However, in self-honesty, I know that this is a point that I’ve always existed as.

What’s interesting is, I can remember the same feeling, like an incompleteness when I was a child. This brought up the memory of when I would get home from school when I was young. My mom would have a full set of chores lined up for me to do and I would hurry through them so that I would be sure and have time to go play with my friends.

In the hurry I would begin to feel as if I was leaving myself behind or like the presence of myself was incomplete. I am now realizing how this is a point of  postponement.  Not taking self-responsibility because I just wanted to play and experience myself as having fun doing what I wanted to do.  And I have been still walking the same pattern in my committment in walking my Journey to Life

Therefore, I commit myself to slowing myself down, breathing, and allowing myself to basically stand up and begin again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when I was a child, develop an idea within myself of what responsibility meant according to the negative experience I had of myself when I first attempted to be responsible and therefore, almost without my even knowing it, I accepted and allowed myself to define responsibility as something that meant ‘I have to work’, and/or that ‘I have to do something that I don’t want to do’, and within that I began to have fear swell up within me in my mind as an image where I would see my friends playing outside and having fun without me, and because I valued myself according to how many friends liked me, I seen responsibility as sort of a deal breaker. because ‘the chores’ that I had to do which were ‘my responsibility’, kept me from being part of the fun and interrupted my idea of what I needed to participate in so that ‘my friends’ would like me, thus, I developed a plan where with every chore my mom assigned for me, I would do just enough on the surface to make it appear like I had done the job thoroughly but if/when my mom looked closely, she would see that I hadn’t done the necessary deep cleaning and therefore my responsibility was incomplete thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue similar patterns throughout my life and thus have always postponed taking self-responsibility and have always left myself feeling incomplete because I’ve not been willing to slow myself down, breathe and give myself the chance to see into me.

to be continued…

Day 156: I Made my Mind up a Long Time Ago

Yesterday I had to go to the Doctor for assistance for the extreme pain I’ve been experiencing in my upper back. I didn’t want to go, but I knew that I had to utilize what is available as a bridge to assist me as my physical body.

After examining me the Doctor began to explain to me about the medicine he was going to prescribe for me, as well as the ‘long term plan’ which may involve physical therapy.

I quickly saw how I became defensive and energy swirled around me like a protective force field. I began to explain to him that if I have to take pain pills that I prefer they be ones that I know I can physically tolerate, and I went on to say: “it just makes more sense, no offense of course.”

LOL, Well, he didn’t take kindly to what I said and I began to see how his eyes – which were looking directly at me – how they began to shift from side to side, first to the left then to the right and then back to the left and then back to the right again, shifting, shifting. My questioning his decision got him to thinking and the proof that that wasn’t a good thing was as clear as the frozen frown on his face that he couldn’t seem to shake.

I knew that I didn’t really want to have to take medicine, but I also knew that at the moment, I required some relief and the medicine is only a temporary solution. I had the thought: “I know what’s best for my physical body”!   However, I didn’t say that out loud because it was obvious he was still processing my previous words.

It was in that moment that I realized something and I decided at that point to shut the hell up, breathe and ask him to tell me more about the medicine he wanted to prescribe for me.

What I realized was, before I ever walked into his office, I had prepared myself  to instigate my own plan of action according to what and how I had previously made my mind up long before I arrived for my appointment – before he’d even had a chance to examine me.

See. I have never liked the fact that a Doctor, or anyone for that matter, have the authority and a “so-called-right”, according to the rules of the Matrix, to determine the best treatment plan for me – to take away my responsibility for me as my physical body.

I mean, it’s my physical body even though I’ve not actually been very responsible for and as it.   Seriously though,  there is NO Free Will and we have very little to do with the decision making processes within our world.   Free Will…   What a Joke…

Moving on… I realized that I reacted rather catty towards him and that I could have and should have directed myself in a stable manner, and I shared that with him. He immediately looked me in the eyes again and repeated his suggestions for my treatment.

The whole experience assisted me to realize how important it is that I redefine who I am within the meaning of  the words: “I Made my Mind up a Long Time Ago”.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become defensive where I experience myself in and as energy swirling around myself like a protective force field within a memory of my past, thus, I stop. I breathe. I see, realize and understand that who I was 5 years ago is no longer who I am today and as I continue to walk the Journey to Life, I have proven to myself how self can and will change through writing, applying self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, thus, I commit myself to show how energy experience is the result of accepting myself to be directed of and as my ego as I’ve existed in my past, thus, I see, realize and understand how energy is ego as my past which has to end at death as it is our mind as consciousness, therefore,  I commit myself to direct myself as my mind to stop energetic ego experiences and to walk according to what’s best for all – to thus then prove that the past is over.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a character of and as my mind where I exist in a make belief story within my mind made up about who and how I’m going to behave and experience myself within a given moment long before the moment is actually here and where within my secret mind, I participate in and as judgment and expectations that someone (in this case my Doctor) will also participate along with me in my make belief story, and when they don’t, I unleash a strong reaction of dislike onto them, which is actually an outflow of a reaction that I suppress deep within me with regards to our current world/money system, yet my suppression is indirectly imposed upon and implying that they ( in this case my Doctor), are the cause/source for/of my reaction of/as dislike and frustration to/toward what I realize is a cruel, corrupt and unjust world/money system.

I commit myself to stop existing as a character where I make up within my mind who I will be and what I’m going to say within a given moment before the actual moment is even here.

When and as I see myself talking to myself inside my head pre-planning what to say and or do with regards to an upcoming appointment, I stop. I breathe. I realize that in doing so I am actually reacting to my own reactions in fear of what may or may not happen thus, I commit myself to slow myself down and remain aware of who I am within this moment of breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project anger onto others according to a reaction from within myself which is actually to/toward our current world/money system, and where I will take that a step further insofar as to preplan for myself a ‘line of defense’ so that I’ll ‘know my lines’ and know just how to act so when the moment arrives, all I have to do is be the stand-in, on autopilot, and become who I’ve already constructed myself to be within my mind, and within that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry if my made up mind script is not welcomed by and played out by/as someone that I perceived will play the supporting role in my illusion in order to help me bring to life my perception of happiness within a world full of pain turned into a make belief story that I Made up within my Mind a Long Time Ago.

I commit myself to stop projecting anger onto others according to a reaction within myself  where I am misdirecting my frustration of our money system onto my present moment and to instead breathe and remain aware of who I am within this moment here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how I make my mind up about someone and/or something according to a past experience of myself in a memory where I lost control of myself and then suppressed the experience as a memory which I believed I had to hide in order to protect my self shame, thus I devised a script for myself as a protection mechanism – like putting up an energetic wall all around me – where I can hide and keep to myself the make belief story within my mind where I deceive myself into believing that I’m coming out aHEAD within what is nothing but an illusion of control thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as that which I made up within my mind about myself a long time ago in and as fear in an attempt to avoid facing all of me and my responsibility to all that is here.

I commit myself to stop making my mind up about people, places and things as a way of setting myself up to be and become automated within my world as a way of avoiding facing who I am within what and how our world exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that who I am as my past rules who I will always be, thus, I justify my deceptive behavior in an attempt to set myself up to experience energetic outflows where the results of who I am  remain the same with no change because I made up my mind about myself a long time ago when and as I believed the make belief story within my mind as consciousness that I couldn’t and/or wouldn’t be worthy of and as life itself.

I stop. I Breathe.

to be continued

Day 142: Healing the Rite of Passage

Dental appointments, pain, pain medication, and worrying about money has taught me quite a bit about myself these past couple of weeks. Another week and I’ll be through with dental appointments for awhile. One thing for sure that I’ve missed is daily blogging and, I’ve realized just how assisting the daily Journey to Life blogging is. I’ve become more aware of how when I don’t blog daily, I want to wander around in my mind participating in and as my thoughts – which are actually self-interest driven desires and fear… Through self-forgiveness I realize I’ve had enough and I stop and breathe and realize something amazing. I become aware of how beautifully supportive my physical body is in that even while I’m sucking the life out of myself through participating in and as my mind, me as my physical body is busy healing me for me to see who I am as it and to stop abusing myself to death, and I am grateful.  Walking here self-forgiveness for my most recent mind/thought and fear patterns…

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how when I participate in and as thoughts I begin to experience myself as ‘feeling’ overwhelmed and disappointed with emotional wind gusts where inside my mind I fear myself as I fall victim to energetic outflows and separate myself from myself, and I forgive myself that I lose all touch with my senses as who I am as me as my physical body and I begin to believe that I’m ‘depressed’ when in fact I’m only reacting in separation to/of the very thoughts, feelings and/or emotions/reactions that I’ve given power to through the very act of participating in and as them in allowing my mind as consciousness to direct who I am as I try and make myself believe that I am having an ‘experience’ of myself as living as life, when in fact the energetic experience/outflow is an act of allowing death to me as my phsical body, instead of directing myself as who I really am as life equal to and one with absolutely Everything and All Living beings here.

I commit myself to stop participating in and as thoughts, feelings and emotions/reactions creating fear in and as me as my physical body and to instead commit myself to breathe and realize that here within and as me as my physical body within this physical earth reality I have the will in self-honesty to direct who I am as life in supporting myself to support a world/money system supportive of all living beings according to what’s best for All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how within thoughts of/as my secret mind I become a stranger in possession of/as who I am as my physical body because when I participate in/as thoughts, feelings and emotions/reactions I don’t see, realize and understand the consequences of how as such I am literally sucking the life out of me as my physical body.

I commit myself to support me as my physical body within the healing process of and as self-honesty, because I see, realize and understand that my physical body is constantly showing me how healing begins within every breath, thus, I commit myself to walking the healing process of myself by stopping me as my mind as consciousness, and directing me as life from and as my physical body to thus support a World according to what’s best for All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear missing out on an experience of myself as/on energy, where it’s like I’m in a rerun of myself, whereas in my mind as consciousness, I’m still trying to run a race for/to have something and/or to be something that was and is never real, yet, one in which I believed myself as needing in order to face myself as my mind within and as a belief/fear of which I succumbed to/as of growing old and aging.

I commit myself to stop the fear of growing old and aging, to breathe, and realize myself in walking the seemingly small steps in supporting myself to see who I am in self-honesty in order to stop who I’ve been through the eyes of my mind, to thus begin to realize myself in equality and oneness within and as me as my physical body and our physical world/reality/existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a has been, as someone who is to old to be something more within a perception of myself as being less than who I am as my physical body based upon how I think, feel and fear and within that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize who I am as my physical body free from the limitation of thoughts, feelings and emotions/reactions and fears of growing old/aging.

I commit myself to realize how the fear of aging is an acceptance of myself within and as a belief of and as consciousness and in separation of who I am as my physical body thus, I commit myself to focus on breathing and to stop racing within myself to reach a point of consolation as a belief within my mind and to instead direct myself to communicate with me as my physical body in realizing that my physical body is here supporting, giving and allowing me the opportunity of and as life itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define who I am according to ritualized forms of recognition referred to as ‘the right of passage’,  because I see, realize and understand how the only ‘rite of passage’ that will mark the process and/or progress for and of me in any way that matters is one where, I thus commit myself to redefine my ‘rite of passage’ to one where in self-honesty I direct myself to birth myself as life from the physical, walking in support for and of a world where suffering ends and where through an Equal Monetary System every living being is Guaranteed a Life lived in Dignity according to and as All as One as Equal.

Day 141: Making sense out of a system that doesn’t make sense

Along with pain and not physically feeling well from my recent dental appointments, which are still ongoing. I wasn’t prepared to be catapulted into the jaws of our current money system. Where every day this past week, it’s like I’ve been chewed up and spit out by a system that couldn’t care less if I survive it or if I end up on the side of the road bleeding to death. What I’ve realized, is that Money still has the power to change me, and, I realize that I am responsible for the power that I have given to a money system that supports abuse and profit over the life of those living within it. As a way of protecting myself, ‘as my mind’, I see how I’ve become nonchalant in my attitude – another character I’ve become to protect myself from myself. Thus, the following Self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a character of/as my mind who is nonchalant towards others and their Quest to survive because I got lost once again in my own self-interest within energetic wants, needs and desires within a money system that is anything but forgiving and within that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe myself as willing to stand up for all living beings when in fact I’ve only begun to understand what standing up for and as All living beings really means in terms of what I must be willing to give up and stop as who I am and what I’ve accepted and allowed in order to actually have an impact on bringing about a world according to what’s best for All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become hardened and uncaring as a way of giving myself a false sense of perceiving myself as protected within a money system that thrives on taking instead of giving, thus, I commit myself to stop, to breathe and stop fearing the future and to remain here in this moment and face who I am in self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel nonchalant toward the fears of others in their attempt to make sense of what we have All accepted and allowed within our world, therefore, I commit myself to stop who I am as fear and to direct myself to do unto others as I would like done unto me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to move myself according to the energy I receive according to how much money I have and for how I have incorporated that as who I am within how I move myself as my physical body and within my physical reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try and make sense within a world/money system that doesn’t make sense within all the abuse it exists as, thus, I stop, I breathe, I direct myself to slow down and face who I am within all that is here, to thus, assist and support a system which will support all life according to what’s best for All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted, allowed, and supported a world/money system that generates fear and stress in our day to day living where living isn’t living at all really only struggling to just survive, thus, I commit myself to show how with Equal Money day to day living will be enjoyable and stress free because everyone’s day to day necessities will be given to everybody equally.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the changes that must be made in order to change our world to one that is supportive of and as all living beings, thus, I commit myself to show how it makes more sense to ensure that all living beings are provided for with Equal Money – than to continue to allow a world/money system where people are constantly competing with each other to survive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world/money system that sees value in people according to how much money they have/make, and for how I’ve ignored the depth of daily stress being lived by those who have little to no money to provide for themselves, thus, I commit myself to never stop supporting an Equal Money System because I see, realize and understand how with Equal Money we will manifest Heaven on Earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how every day thousands of people have absolutely nothing and starve to death while others have more than they could possibly use in a one lifetime therefore, I commit myself to show how only the best and most nutritious food will exist with an Equal Money System.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when things are going my way and I have money in my pocket then I don’t stop to consider how others are experiencing themselves as fearful and stressed out from not knowing how they will survive from one minute to the next, thus, I commit myself to show how with Equal Money, people will stop manipulating and stealing because with Equal Money people will begin to understand the nature of themselves and thus will begin to forgive and correct themselves and begin to assist and support each other.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support a world/money system that is driven to only support itself through the ways and means of abuse of and as a Capitalistic system, thus, I commit myself to show how we will bring an end to Capitalism through manifesting Heaven on Earth with Equal Money.

Day 123: God’s Will Is A LIE

After an evening with my partner, watching a movie, the following Self-forgiveness was inspired while hearing the numerous ‘praise & worship’songs scattered throughout the movie.

I forgive myself for not realizing how what I was looking for – when I submitted to the character of and as my mind as the ‘take me just as I am mindset’ – was that of hope in something greater than the perception I had of myself, thus, I pretended to not see the bloodshed of thousands upon thousands who suffer and die daily as I justified death as “The Will of God“, because the fact is blood is shed in our acceptance of our world/money system which glorifies profit over that which is real as our Physical Body and our Earth as this Physical “Reality, therefore, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe the love of God made me ‘special’, ‘just as I am’, not realizing that when Man speaks, God speaks, because “The Will of God” is “The Will of Man”, as the creator of our reality, as the choices we accept and allow.

I forgive myself for not realizing that the lamb of God was like a guilt offering that I sought for to relieve me of my own guilt for abdicating myself from life within the beLIEf that “The Will of God” would redeem me from that which I feared the most which was me as my mind as consciousness, thus, I forgive myself for not realizing that “The Will of God” is actually the will of the mind as consciousness and another word for ownership and possession wherein our secret mind we allow ourselves to manipulate relationships to gain more money as possessions within feelings and emotions and experiences where we boost our ego and then refer to what we accomplish as “The Will of God.”

I forgive myself for not realizing that when I praised “The Will of God”, I was actually praising the illusions of and as my Mind and desensitizing myself to the reality of how life exists within an abusive world/money system and as long as I accepted “The Will of God” as real, then I could momentarily avoid facing myself and my responsibility, and for awhile I was able to avoid myself and ignore the suffering and pain of others, until one day I could not, thus I see, realize and understand that eventually we can no longer run from that which we are, and inevitably we will have to face who we’ve become as our mind as ego, self-interest and greed, thus to see little by little how everything we’ve ever believed in, has been a LIE, and we let go and we Stop and we breathe. We forgive ourself and we realize that we can no longer live the Lie, thus, I commit myself to stop fighting for Life and to instead Support Life in Supporting Equal Money.

I commit myself to have the courage to live self-honesty and to show that if I’m able to stop and face myself and support a world according to what’s best for All, then anyone can.

I commit myself to Stop “The Will of God“, which is Man as Greed, Self-interest and Ego, and to show how the only valid purpose for being here is to establish a world that is best for All Life in All ways.

I commit myself to show how the lies we’ve taught our children – including those with regards to “The Will of God” – throughout our history enforces reactions to fear and survival and how in an Equal Money System children will be taught common sense life skills according to what’s best for All.

I commit myself to show how when profit is taken out of the equation and we produce goods and services within the starting point of what’s best for All life, including nature, animals and our physical reality of/as planet earth, we’ll see how with Equal Money – there will never be a reason for anybody to suffer at the hands of profit and/or self-interest and greed.

I commit myself to show how Equal Money will for the first time in the History of Man provide effective support for our Physical bodies and our Physical Reality.

I commit myself to show how the “Will of Self as Life” wherein All Life exists according to that which is Best for All is the Desteni of MANKIND.

“I commit myself to show that Jesus understood the Word as Life as Living flesh, but also understood that the Human was Not Ready to Realize until all is Lost, and the End of Life is Certain. We have Reached that Time – and Each will Face a Final choice which will be proven as the Living Flesh and Only those as the Living Flesh that Live what is Best for All Life as Neighbours, will enter Life.” ~ Bernard Poolman

Day 118: Angelic Warfare

The ‘healthy’ cereal bars that contain more sugar than a can of cola and as much fat as cheese

Scientists aren’t quite ready to lump sugar addiction in with heroin addiction even though research has proved that sugar influences the same “feel-good” brain chemicals as that of the hardest drugs available to man. But, I mean, look at all the profit being made off of products laced with sugar. When we finally see the common sense for ourself – we’re going to ask ourselves why we’ve accepted a few to profit over OUR World when All Life can be supported as Heaven on Earth.

Make no mistake about it, alcohol is the only substance deadlier than sugar. The thing about sugar is, you have to apply and understand moderation, and, the accumulation effect of sugar in how sugar ‘gains control’.

In small amounts, sugar accumulates within our physical body over time. Add in all those pre-programmed holiday moments where we overindulge in the sweetest things. Look closely because there’s a secret to be individually understood. Our secret mind and sugar work well in supporting each other – both manifest decay unto our physical body.

I’ve been investigating the point for just over six months now – seeing the results for myself of stopping sugar. Obviously sugar is in everything – however, my total caloric intake daily, from processed sugar, hasn’t went above 8 grams, and, I allow myself at least 2 to 4 servings of fresh fruit and vegetables daily.

Three months after stopping sugar, I gave in and awarded ‘my mind’ a small piece of chocolate pie, and, just a week ago, after ‘feeling’ stressed out, I again allowed myself some chocolate pie. My partner is witness to the change in my behavior both times. The days following my acceptance was Mental Hell.

It wasn’t until I stopped eating sugar that I began to realize how severe the mental and physical withdrawal is from eating and/or stopping sugar and in how and what self manifests in doing so, such as: depression, fatigue, irritability/mood swings, dizziness and confusion. That’s just to name a few of the many obsessive compulsive behaviors one experiences when one eats sugar daily – as well as what one experiences for a short while when stopping sugar.

When we consume sugar daily, it fuels/fools our mind as consciousness in believing that we’re ‘doing ok’, as long as, we keep eating it. The first week of stopping sugar is very difficult. However, every day after that one begins to see subtle mental and physical changes that are accumulating daily. My skin is softer and clearing. I require less sleep and I’ve become more patient with myself and others.

Investigate for yourself by stopping sugar so you can see for yourself. And until then – Support Your Children - STOP purchasing products laced in sugar which support the rich to get richer while the poor cave into the cavities of a world/money system that has yet to support All Life.

The way in which we as humans consume is deadly because our starting point is self-interest and greed in our struggle to survive. Sugar is here as the sweet little white stuff that’s legal.

It gives us that sweet quick fix of comfort within an illusion of control which keeps us following the rules of and as the good slave.

Angelic Warfare – where sugar is the substance that makes the Devilish ‘Feel’ Angelic.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feed products with sugar in them to my children simply because I never considered to investigate my starting point in consuming and the effects sugar has on our physical body and our physical reality. Thus, I stop. I breathe. I commit myself to investigating for myself what is physically supportive for our bodies and our Physical reality.

I forgive myself for not realizing the rush in me when consuming sugar, wherein I experience and exist as a lust in separation from life within an energetic spin, where I loose sight of the decay I’m accepting and allowing unto me as my physical body. I Stop. I Breathe. I realize myself here as my physical body in/as blood, cells, flesh and bone which supports me within this physical reality – I commit myself to me as my physical body to care for myself within the starting point of equality – in realizing that within the starting point of consumption and greed is destruction of/as life. I Stop the Angelic Sugar consumption as Warfare upon our Physicality. I commit myself to supporting life with an Equal Money System which will be supportive in manifesting Heaven on Earth.

I forgive myself for not realizing my emotional attachments and addiction to certain foods wherein I have overindulged within the starting point of my mind as desire, thus, I commit myself to free myself from the desire of my mind, to direct myself to breathe and realize myself within the ability to eat food that will assist and support me as my physical body to function and exist at its optimum.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a world/money system where products are laced with sugar, promoted, sold and willingly fed to children for the sake of profit.

I commit myself to me as my physical body in realizing that sugar fuels/fools every cell within me as it influences, controls and overloads me as my physical body the same as any street drug high affects an addict.

I commit myself to life in supporting a world/money system which supports children, animals, All living beings according to what’s best for All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not fully comprehend the meaning of moderation, wherein I have become the one who consumes in the race to have more than my neighbor – instead of realizing that our earth provides more than enough to sustain everyone.

I commit myself to life in support of an Equal Money System whereas All living beings will be provided with food production that focuses on effective healthy living with the outcome of longevity in support of our physical body and our physical reality.

**Please investigate the truth about sugar in a video called: The Bitter Truth.

Day 117: The Right to Die

Tears of desperate locked-in syndrome sufferer Tony Nicklinson as High Court rules he CAN’T ask a doctor to end his life - -

The above article is about a 58-year-old father of two who is mentally sound but paralyzed from the neck down and unable to speak. For two years he’s been battling to persuade three judges of the High Court to rule that if and when he decides he wants to die, that doctors will be immune from prosecution if they help him to do so. Recently, he lost in his war for ‘the right’ to end his life.

His wife said her husband was ‘absolutely heartbroken’ because he’s been condemned by the law to ‘a life of increasing indignity and misery’.

It’s a strange thing to read, that someone is ‘fighting’ the laws of our current world/money system for the right to end one’s life so that they won’t have to suffer a life of ‘indignity and misery’. Because obviously, the laws of our current world/money system have already denied ‘the right for All to be able to live a life in dignity’ – where 30,000 plus children die a miserable death every single day from starvation.

Who the hell cares about their indignity and misery? They’re starving to death! They don’t have the luxury of a two year court battle to survive life.

There is something here we had better grasp – that how we experience ourselves within our world, is by our own creation as consciousness, which we agree to and manifest within our world accordingly.

Like it or not – we’re All responsible for how every single one of us experience life, whether that be through the suffering/misery resulting from having a stroke or the daily shocking statistics of 30,000 + children starving to death.

If there’s misery, pain, suffering, anguish and suppression amongst us, where one wishes they would die but are unable to – that is what it is as a direct result of our current world/money system. It’s time for us to realize that ALL challenges we face are according to what I / WE have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become.

The Question is – what have we accepted and allowed ourselves to become?

For Life on Earth to actually change – where No one suffers and every single life is given equal support and assistance according to individual needs – that require us to stop who we are in/as self-interest, ego and greed.

In order to provide effective life support according to what’s best for self, requires a system where we come together as a group, to take self-responsibility and support a world/money system according to what’s best for All.

There is ONLY ONE solution where peaceful change is possible, that is through an Equal Money System.

I commit myself to comprehend completely for myself to thus show how one cannot escape facing/forgiving self – because even in death self must take self-responsibility for Self as Life as All in All ways Equally.

I commit myself to Never stop supporting an Equal Money System which will provide All living beings with The Right to Experience LIFE in DIGNITY.

I commit myself to show how an Equal Money System will allow each one of us the ability to clarify and redefine ourselves through self-directed choices of/as self-responsibility for and as All Living beings.

I commit myself to show how with an Equal Money System, the Right of Life will give each individual being the right to exist in dignity in/as Heaven on Earth – where fighting to live and die will not be a battle nor even a QUESTion within the minds of men.

I commit myself to show how life within an Equal Money System will replace struggling to survive to that of Harmony Amongst Neighbors.

I commit myself to Life in Equality as Heaven on Earth wherein ego, greed and self-interest become obsolete as expressions.

I commit myself to Life in Equality as Heaven on Earth where Equal Money will pave the way for Peace and a Dignified Life for All.

Day 116: The War Within in the Name of God

Realizing the nature of my war within. Thus, the following self-forgiveness. – -

I forgive myself for all the times that I accepted and allowed myself to make choices and decisions about going to war against other countries, land and people based upon my belief of and in the name of God.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the destructive nature of and as the secrets of my mind to be that which has consumed and directed me to such a point that I wonder if I even have the right to refer to myself as a living being whose only ever existed within and as war while never questioning the real nature of War in the Name of God.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become a living expression of war within myself in the Name of God, wherein self hate and fear I surrounded myself within and as lies I told myself about a God who only ever existed within and as my mind as consciousness – where I pretended my belief in a God made me feel better, when it actually didn’t.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to call myself a human while I followed and acted like others using words like hope and faith in the Name of God and never actually expressed who I am in self-honesty within and as a living physical expression of tenderness and compassion as that of being humane.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sympathy for others within the starting point of casting impressions from/as characters/memories/personalities of and as my mind within the starting point of fear of survival in fearing the despair of another may fall upon me as I ran from the War Within in the Name of God.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be so consumed within and as my mind in filling my own wants, needs and desires that I didn’t want to stop and see how in the name of God is how war within begins and manifest into and as our world.

I forgive myself for not realizing what those in war have to actually live and become as a living expression of evil in order to physically kill others just to fulfill the demands of those of us who say we require defense in the Name of God.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my support of wars to kill other human beings in the name of God, all the while not realizing how/what the acceptance of such an allowance is creating and manifesting within me as my physical body and our physical reality.

I forgive myself for not realizing that money is the light of God on Earth.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to warship in the name of God those who manipulate from the starting point of their own war within in order to profit in/as power of money above life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to in the Name of God beLIEve that I’m not responsible for the wars within this world, that I’m innocent, when in-fact I am responsible for accepting and allowing it to continue while I quietly ignore it as I go about my daily life in/of and as self-interest.

I forgive myself that I haven’t realized that our problem is the very nature of ourselves as our mind as consciousness – which is the God we’re actually beLieving in as being real – as we accept and allow ourselves to be directed as it, and enslaved to it through our world/money system – instead of seeing realizing and understanding, that it is I who decides who I am. It is I who decides to direct me according to what’s best for All – to hell with the War within in the Name of God - because through writing and self-forgiveness, I am able to see who and what I can become and walk as, in self-honesty, thus, I commit myself to creating and manifesting a world where life on Earth is a living expression of equality and oneness as Heaven on Earth according to what’s Best for All.

I commit myself to show how in the Name of God we as a humanity have Never taken self-responsibility for ourselves and for how our World exists.

I commit myself to show how in the Name of God we have forsaken that which is real as our Physical Body and our Physical Reality.

I commit myself to show how in the Name of God we lie, cheat, steal and kill our neighbors just so we can be and have more.

I commit myself to show how in the Name of God we live out our Fears of Survival, and then we Die.

I commit myself to show how in the Name of God we have never known who we can be in and as Self-Honesty and Self-Trust.

I commit myself to show how we Can Forgive our selves through Self-forgiveness

I commit myself to show that humanity requires real compassion and tenderness through first providing support for our Physical bodies and our Physical Reality through an Equal Money System.

I commit myself to show how in One moment, Everything can and Will change with Equal Money because Every Single Living Being will be Provided for – No One will ever again be left behind.

I commit myself to show how Equal Money provides life support for every newborn child where No child will ever again starve to death.

I commit myself to show how we have never required a God to manifest and create that which we are capable of with Equal Money.

I commit myself to show how with Equal Money – All WAR AND FEAR OF SURVIVAL WILL END – Imagine That…

I commit myself to life in supporting a System of Equality where Life becomes a Living Expression of Love as Giving to All that which you would like to Receive.