Tag Archive | angelic

Day 46: The Devil and The Angel On My Shoulder

Today my partner and I had to spend most of our day in the city. At the last moment we decided to stop for a salad at a Deli we’ve not been to in 3 months, even though it’s always been a favorite place of ours to eat. The Deli sits atop about 30 concrete steps and as I reached the top and entered the Deli, I became aware of how I was having a negative energetic experience of myself.

Immediately I began to ask myself what thought was I in that I was allowing my mind to be, because I’ve proved to myself through lessons in Desteni I Process that participation in thought, equals the direction of ones energy.

So as I walked past the table where we sat the last time we were there, I realized how I saw myself as actually walking my past as my future in that moment. I then realized how within myself, I was pretending to not see and understand how I was confronting myself, all the while actually knowing exactly what was going on within me.

I made my way to the counter and lost breath inmyself so my partner assisted in ordering for me as I made an excuse to go to the restroom. When I entered the facility I noticed an experience of movement within my solar plexus as well as an odd anxiety and I was strangely aware of the fact that I was resisting to face that which I feared within what I already knew.


I also realized something interesting in that my fear was talking to me as my secret mind, giving me reasons through rapid thoughts for how and why I was experiencing myself, and at that point, I just stood there, still, and focused on my breathing.

In less than a minute I made my way out of the restroom and slowly fixed my salad when I remembered an interview by Anu that I hadn’t heard yet called, “Reptilians – My fear companion – Part 44″, and, I was grateful I had my MP3 player with me because I was ready to hear it during our drive home. As it turned out, the interview, was the perfect assistance.

My partner and I sat down and began to eat and as we began to talk, I noticed how what my partner was saying seemed to be going on and on, and within my solar plexus was a rising of what was an emotional desire to burst into tears. That was actually the very support I required to shake me up because I rarely experience myself anymore within such a reaction.
I saw how the point was laid out before me and I knew that what was happening was definitely a self-created pattern of/as an emotional reaction, and I knew that I had to stop it.

And that’s what I did, I breathed and directed myself to investigate, and I asked myself if the fear I was existing as was actually serving me in any way whatsoever? NO!

I realized then, how, the last time we had eaten at the Deli was 9 days before my brother died. It was also when I was physically sick as well, and I had experienced a similar anxiety during our visit to the Deli that day because of me existing within and as fear of loss/death. Exposing the fear, and sharing with my partner my realization and self-forgiveness, assisted my physical body to release from anxiety within.

Join us and prove for yourself who you are walking the Journey to Life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as a unconscious thought pattern within a mind construct/pattern of anxiety creating an energetic experience of myself where thought participation equals the direction of/as energetic polarities of good/bad, positive/negative and right/wrong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to walk past myself as who I am as breath, as I pretended to not know who I am because of the fear of facing my knowing in the detail of what I exist of/as.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid going into the details of my life and history and walking into my mind as a consciousness system because I fear what I’ve deliberately hid from myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an unconscious emotional reaction/memory/pattern manifestation in my physical body as energy that is intertwined within the mind as well as the physical, where fear is the devil and the angel on one’s shoulder. (For further perspective download @ Eqafe: “Reptilians – My fear companion – Part 44“)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue borrowing tomorrow within a mind set living in fear of the future – instead of realizing that anything to do with the future exist within the point of manipulating and controlling the human.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how fear is so taxing that one doesn’t want to move themselves outside their current familiar fear based comfort zone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the emotional feeling energy in/as ‘fear of loss’ – instead of realizing that one is already experiencing ‘loss of self’ lived in fear of and as a mind consciousness system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not realize that to justify our behaviour patterns gives us the cause for our fears.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to breathe life into bullshit quotes such as: “We never understand how little we need in this world until we know the loss of it” – which actually projects us to live out our fate within a world in polarity where there are the ‘Haves’ and the ‘Have Nots’ – instead of standing together as a group in support of a system accepting of and as all living beings.

I commit myself to comprehend and stand in taking self-responsibility in self-honesty for who I am within what I’ve accepted and allowed as my actions and creations as self, where I will walk in and as an ability to respond to my environment and society, and hold them equal and one to and as an expression of/as self supporting a world according to what’s best for all.

I commit myself to supporting a system of Equality where the greatest freedom is the greatest choice of/in giving the quality of life to/for All Life, according to what’s best for all.

Please Read The following Blogs for further perspective and assistance regarding Angels, Devils, Heaven & Hell and Creation as Life

Heaven’s Journey to Life – DAY 7: What has ‘Life’ Become?

Heaven’s Journey to Life – DAY 9: I Am War

Heaven’s Journey to Life – As Within = So Without: DAY 12

Creation’s Journey to Life – Day 3: Resistance to Change

Creation’s Journey to Life – Day 5: In the Beginning was God

Creation’s Journey to Life – Day 11: Demonic and Angelic Possession

Creation’s Journey to Life – Day 15: Who am I? Prisoner of the Mind?

Day 17: At the End of the Day it’s Always about Money Part 2

Forgiving me possessed in/as Money

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed within me a point of mind possession in and as a point of polarity with regards to having/saving/losing money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not know who/what I am without money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not remember a time in my life when money wasn’t important and where/when I began to accept/allow and define/value parts of myself throughout my whole life into and as money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry to/towards myself when I spend to much money on things that I realize later are unnecessary and thus in my anger lash out to/towards my partner in spite and blame as if my experience of myself is my partners fault.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to become an automated system through which I create and manifest friction to generate an energetic experience in and as myself within my relationship wherein my starting point within the energetic experience/relationship is self-interest motivated.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed my relationship to manifest within a dependency of/as my own fear of survival in/as an energetic outflow of wants/needs/desires wherein I through friction would be able to get from the relationship what I required in order to continue to fuel an already accepted entity/possession of myself through utilizing positive/negative and neutral points as energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to see how money has controlled every decision I make within this world where fear of survival controls our every move without our even realizing it because we’ve locked ourselves so deep into and as the very core of inequality.


I forgive myself for the anger and blame I’ve held against myself for how I’ve accepted and allowed greed to manifest a world full of crime and atrocity.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that to walk away from the facts of what’s really going on here will make me feel better when in fact I become more suppressed in and as guilt and denial of who I am within all that is here.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that I’m not able to make a difference in this world so why not just give up when I know for sure that I’m not able to turn myself back into what I was before I began to see the truth of me in all that is here.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to feel sorry for those who are struggling and suffering and/or starving when I see and realize that feeling sorry for them will assist no one in stopping what is here and that in order to stop how this world exists – I must first stop and direct myself in self-honesty.

I commit myself to stop the personalities and fears within my mind so that I may correct and restore myself and this world to how it is suppose to be before we as the human arrived and screwed up everything.

I commit myself to stop manipulating myself within my worshipping of the money God and to assist myself in realizing that life here in Equality can and will come to be through self-corrective application of writing, self-forgiveness, and self-honesty.

I commit myself to standing up for a world that I don’t yet know of which is one where all living beings will no longer suffer and one where food is in abundance for everyone and earth’s resources are for the benefit of All.

I commit myself to realizing that the memory of where I’ve been and who I’ve been will play no part in who and how I am in standing up for and as all life here equal and one.

I commit myself to recreate money as the root of all evil as the root of life that we may realize that it is not about what we create, it is about what value we give what we create and thus we can give money the value of life equally and use it as the way to bring to each other what is best for all life. Bernard Poolman

I commit myself to the establishment of love on earth in the only form that it is in fact love, the form that is best for all life in every way. Bernard Poolman

For further perspectives with regards to relationships and/or money visit: Creation’s Journey to Life