For almost a week now I’ve had a sore throat, a head cold, occasional chills within my physical body, and now a fever. It’s strange to describe what’s been moments of brain fog which is actually moments of me unaware of myself as breath. As I’ve been breathing and pushing myself through to finish my current SRA lesson – which is a ‘keeping score mind construct’, which is also assisting me to see how I’ve been suppressing myself within a fear of expressing myself, which I’m sure is how my physical symptoms have accumulated. Which brings up an interesting point – the only way that I’m able to exist in fear of expressing myself and thus suppressing myself – is when I’m existing in self-interest… With fever came assistance and clarity, the cloud/fog of consciousness is clearing within my awareness of me breathing in self-forgiveness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I exist within self-interest I am suppressing myself and existing in and as the polarities of negative and positive where I seek experiences of myself through deliberate friction/conflict as manipulation, thus, I fabricate who I am in an attempt to win the approval of others when actually I’m only seeking approval from myself as my mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to impress and/or please others due to a fear of what others will think of me, thus, I deliberately uphold and maintain a particular persona of myself in an attempt to subdue fear within myself to/toward others and I secretly behave through the direction of my mind seeking approval.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to walk as specific personas in how I change internally through the mind consciousness system to please the fear inside myself to how/what I believe others may think/want of me and/or how they may see me, to such an extent that my mannerisms, my voice tonality, my complete actions and behaviors, decisions and choices are according to the persona I have created in relation to how/what I see/believe that others like, which I’ve accumulated myself as knowing, through association with others through time. Therefore, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself and others in an attempt to make my own fear of facing myself feel better.
I forgive myself for what I see is the same pattern of accepted and allowed emotions of ‘feeling sorry for myself’ and/or more appropriately a negative experience of myself that I’ve walked as before, where my mind as consciousness attempts to CONvince me that the process of life on earth is a race, a competition – when in fact I have proved to myself over and over that I am capable of stopping and facing and directing myself here in self-honesty and self-corrective application and to breathe and push through and release the brain fog of consciousness – to instead stand in support of an Equality System which will adequately support us in birthing ourselves here as life living in dignity here on earth.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define who I am through polarity energy of positive and negative where when I experience myself as having a negative experience such as a feeling of depersonalization I will emerge myself in and as energetic actions on the inside giving the appearance of being something and/or someone I’m not on the outside, within the starting point of me as manipulation and abuse within friction/conflict whereas I generate a negative energy experience into a positive energy experience therefore the starting point of me as the authority of energy will equally create my existence as me within the starting point of me as energy, thus manifesting and creating harm/abuse and illness unto my physical body and this physical reality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the energy of positive and negative friction in maintaining and upholding a persona of myself which causes damage to the tissue, cells, organs and skin of/as and within my physical body due to stress and strain that I’ve accumulated myself as throughout my life in my attempt to maintain different energies/personalities/personas.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the diminishing/sinking of and/or the waning of myself where I have scored myself according to popularity and/or through comparing myself to and/or competing with others and where within that I pull myself into a corner within my mind and hide – instead of facing who I am and taking self-responsibility for myself as the energy I’ve consumed myself and this physical reality as.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the fuzzy logic of the mind as consciousness in the fogginess of a head full of snot where I’m sNOT aware of myself existing in self-interest, where I forsake and/or abdicate myself from life itself and within that immerse myself in/as energy/self-interest/conflict/illness/suppression.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to give up and/or throw in the towel so to speak, within the fear/belief that I’m not smart enough and/or good enough to assist and support change within this world, which is actually how I’ve always kept score within myself, according to how I ‘feel’ and how I am ‘thinking’ about myself and within a negative polarity wherein I eventually talk myself into reaching a point of positivity as a way of making myself ‘feel’ better about myself and thus continue to repeat the mind patterns of polarity in and as positive/negative energies of and as the illusion of the mind – I stop. I breathe. I continue my commitment to walk the Journey to Life and support this world as is required in order to stop the insanity we have accepted and allowed to exist here.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to validate myself as consciousness through positive experiences of myself which are actually a point of getting my way in and as self-interest where self-suppression and the killing of the physical exists.
I commit myself to caring for and protecting/preserving the natural resource of/as my physical body and this physical reality through breathing whereas I trust myself to support all equally as life.
I commit myself to correcting myself as the nature of the human being as consciousness through self-forgiveness and to assist and support each and every part of myself in self-honesty to support life in a dignified manner and respect for all in equality and oneness.
I commit myself to the purpose of comprehending, living and ensuring equality and oneness within our existence for and as all living beings.
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